“Oh, do you draw names?” my mother-in-law asked when I explained my traditional family Christmas Eve celebration. “No,” I replied, “Certain people in the family shop for the whole crowd while others of us are not expected to give.” Sound strange? It probably is, but every family has its own idea of normal. Sometimes “normal” is simply a random decision someone made one year which was repeated until it was considered tradition. Once something is considered the way we do it, it can be difficult to make a sweeping change. Someone will likely be upset; and, since such change involves one of the … [Read more...]
The Antidote for Self-Pity
I confess that I sometimes wallow. Whether I am annoyed by a headache or dealing with an emotional volcano, my first instinct is it think about all the ways my issue is not fair. Can you relate? Thankfully, in between “poor pitiful me” sessions, the Lord opens my heart and shows me glimpses of different perspectives. When we turn our attention away from ourselves, and focus on making someone else’s situation better, we are happier. When I was eleven, I was able to help deliver a pile of presents to a family in need. The house was almost bare on the inside and the mom kept saying, “Thank … [Read more...]
Keeping a Memory Box
Do you ever think, “How did I get myself into this?” Or, do you ever wonder, “What was I thinking when I made that decision?” Sure, we can all relate to that. Even the most careful and efficient among us experience moments of confusion and regret. That is a part of life and those moments show up strongly in our relationships. Most likely, at this point in your relationship, you are happy – at least for the most part. You are getting to know each other. Maybe you are seriously considering engagement and fighting back the fluttering butterflies in your stomach. What will she say when I … [Read more...]
Giving Thanks When Everything Feels Broken
Scrolling through Facebook just now, I saw a photo of a beautiful autumnal scene shared by my sister-in-law. Brightly colored leaves and plump pumpkins are scattered all over social media, so it was not the picture which caught my attention. It was the simple words. With the picture was the phrase, “There is always, always something to be thankful for.” In the past, I might have mentally nodded and kept scrolling, but today I had a moment of slight rebellion. In a few days, Mom and I will experience our first Thanksgiving without Dad and, honestly, I have been dreading it. Excited as I am to … [Read more...]
Will Our Love Keep Us Together?
There they were on a warm and lovely Saturday afternoon. She in her beautiful, white gown. He in his tux. They swayed on the dance floor to the Eagles' Love Will Keep Us Alive. As an older teenager, I longed to have what I was witnessing. A husband and the promise of a forever love. It was literally my biggest desire in the whole wide world, dominating my thoughts constantly. Yet, even in my naive mind, the lyrics to the song did not ring true. Somehow, I knew love (i.e., loving feelings) was not enough to keep a couple together. Such “love” is fickle – a lesson I had learned multiple times in … [Read more...]