During this time of year, we Americans are reminded constantly to feel and show gratitude for all our many blessings. And, though I am an advocate for being appreciative of God’s goodness (He is good even when we do not recognize it), I find holidays bring up a familiar ache in my heart. Social media pictures of large families gathered around a Thanksgiving table send small darts into my heart, especially as the patriarch carves the turkey or sits in his recliner with a lap full of grandchildren. The “joy” of the season reminds me of my dad’s empty chair and the famous “kid’s table” my husband … [Read more...]

Who does not struggle with asking for help, at least occasionally? When I need to message my supervisor with a work problem, I put it off for at least a few minutes because I hate bothering her so much. When I am overwhelmed, I hate asking Eric for help because I am “supposed” to be able to do it all (and I know he is busy too). Part of the fear of asking for help comes from the underlying fear of rejection. What if they clearly do not want to help me and they do it because they feel obligated? Another large factor is pride. Pride has plagued humanity since Adam and Eve ate the fruit … [Read more...]

Halloween is a day many have accepted as harmless and synonymous with giggles and sugar, but the deeper meaning celebrates fear and the author of fear. Living in a fallen world, we have all been affected by fear in different forms. Fear of man. Fear of sickness. Fear of relationships. Fear of rejection. Fear of hard work. Fear of failure. Even fear of success and the pressures which come with it. Fear has certainly affected my life. How has it affected yours? Sometimes I miss the days when my biggest fear was a neighborhood kid dressed as a ghost or missing a note during my piano recital. … [Read more...]

Wednesday evening, I joined my long-time friend for chimichangas at our favorite Mexican restaurant. We used to see each other several times a week, but life changed, children grew, jobs expanded, and now we catch up when we can. Honestly, though, is there a better way to spend time with friends than over chips and cheese dip? As we sat, we observed a large table of high school students enjoying what we would assume was a pre-youth group meal. There was the loud one, the flirty one, the jealous one – all the stereotypical members of a young group of friends. Hearing them laugh, watching … [Read more...]

Eric is in the season of dissertation. A few years ago, he approached me about returning to school for his doctorate. Though it did not surprise me (as he lives to collect knowledge and pass it on to others), I did have my concerns. Quickly my mind returned to our days in graduate school when we were both working and stressed to our limits (and FYI, going to school together does not bond a couple in the ways we were hoping it would at the time ~smile~). However, he needed the challenge and I suspect always planned to complete a doctoral degree at some point in his life. He gave in to his … [Read more...]