Do you ever have recurring dreams? Dreams which show up randomly, sometimes year after year, and take your mind and emotions for a ride? If so, you have my empathy. I have experienced the same genre dream for about twenty years. The settings are different, but the dreams always end the same way. Dressed in white, I start walking tentatively towards the altar and groom-to-be when I realize, “I cannot do this! I cannot marry this man!” (note: these men are not Eric) Then I turn, flee down the aisle, and I can see his face and feel his anguish and rejection in my sleep. It is gut-wrenching. … [Read more...]

One Sunday on the way home from church, I remember verbally processing a recent conversation to Eric. While I talked, he patiently listened and I said, “I just wish I knew what she really meant by what she said.” After a while, Eric responded, “Do you know why men do not struggle as much as women do with this? We assume the person talking to us means what he or she says.” Oh, the jealousy. I thought, “How nice it must be not to overthink everything!” A few years later, I finally got the nerve (mostly motivated by hurt) to confront an old friend of mine who I believed was pushing me … [Read more...]

Most people I now talk to agree that this world is on a fast boat to crazy town. Yesterday, I was watching a TV show from the 1980s and they portrayed a young man with a short, green-dyed ponytail as a problem child. Considering today’s issues, that hair choice being problematic now seems laughable. Over the last couple of years, it seems like we see the book of Revelations unfold daily. When I look at the world around us, my heart seizes in fear; but, then the Holy Spirit reminds me of Who holds the world and my heart eases. The below passage is a beautiful reminder that true freedom comes … [Read more...]

Twenty years and two days ago, I was leaving my community college math class. I was nineteen, not sure where I was heading in life, and was expecting that Tuesday to be like any other Tuesday. As a friend and I walked over to the snack bar, an older gentleman approached us and said, “They just flew a plane into the World Trade Center!” We walked inside the building and saw the live footage playing on the small, mounted TVs; and, the world froze for a moment. Those reading this article who are old enough, you surely still remember where you were when you heard the news. Shortly after … [Read more...]

Do you like to fill the room with background noise during the day, or do you prefer quiet? I love to keep some sort of entertainment rolling in the background almost all the time. Granny used to keep the TV on for company even though she gazed outside and daydreamed through it all. Background noise was her friend, and it is mine too! During the day, while I work at our kitchen table, I stream old TV shows from Hulu or Prime. Typically, I choose shows I have already seen dozens of times so I can enjoy the “company” without having to pay much attention to the story line. Lately, I must admit … [Read more...]