Ten years ago, I was finishing up community college and was weeks away from graduation. I had plans to go to Liberty University in the Fall, and after that, I had no idea where I would be. My mind was only focused on the next year ahead of me.
Sure, I hoped I would get married after college, and have kids, but I don’t remember if I ever sat down and really tried to picture where I would be in ten years. Ten years was so far away. There is no way I could imagine being almost…thirty!
Well, it’s now here! Ten years later and I’m almost thirty. What’s scary is how fast the time flew. During one second, I was crossing the stage at my community college… and then the next second, the stage at Liberty. Then suddenly, I was walking down the aisle in a white dress, and then across another stage at Liberty. After that – whoosh – here we are ten years later!
The little kids I babysat are graduating from high school (and some from college), and I’m starting to realize how quickly time melts away. It’s true that days drag, but years fly!
One major question you want to explore with any potential mate is his or her ten year plan. Here’s a free glimpse into the future – you won’t be exactly where you think you’ll be in ten years; but, those who have a vision and a plan (especially a written plan) will end up much farther in a decade than those who simply float through life without a plan.
Discussing your ten year plans with each other will give you a few insights into this person with whom you are considering marriage. For one, it will show you whether or not if he or she even has goals. If your boyfriend or girlfriend can’t think of anything he or she wants to accomplish in the next ten years, I think that’s somewhat of a problem. If he or she doesn’t see a problem with not having any goals for the next ten years, that’s a BIG problem. Discussing where you want to be in ten years also theorizes if you and your significant other are even heading in the same direction.
If you are concerned that your boyfriend/girlfriend will be tempted to change his or her goals to better match yours, you may want to first write out your plans, exchange them, and then discuss them. If you’re prone to such changing, this exercise is also beneficial for you. If you both write your plans – and then read each other’s plans when done – before talking about it, nobody has the opportunity to change their answers.
When you like someone a lot, a person can become tempted to tailor the goals to his or her sweetie’s goals without giving it proper thought. And if your goals don’t match exactly? That’s not the end of the world. But, if your life goals are worlds apart, it is better to deeply discuss it now than after marriage. Not all matches are good matches.
Make a date to discuss your ten year plan. Type them up and exchange them if you’d like. Just be sure not to neglect this important conversation. Have the conversation early in your relationship. If he or she is headed down a completely different path than you are, it’s best to know before you become deeply attached to each other. If he or she is not headed anywhere, you’ll need to know that as early as possible too.
People who float along in life are not going to be able to effectively lead in a marriage or accomplish much in life. Additionally, floaters will not help you accomplish the goals you have in your life without being dragged along (and that is tiring hard work and effort).
Have you and your sweetheart discussed your ten year plans?