I remember being young and shy. I remember not knowing what to say to the girls who made my heart flutter. I remember the nervousness I had when talking to them or calling them on the phone. So, at that time, was I ready for a dating relationship? No, I wasn’t. Why is that…?
Women who I’ve talked to in discussing what they are looking for in a mate said that they wanted a strong man, a man of integrity, a man who has a sense of purpose and direction, someone who wants to provide for his wife, is willing to work hard, and a man who will fight for what is right. Women, am I right? (comment below)
When I was a teenager, I wrote down what I was going to say to the girl I was calling so that I would have a visual verbal guide to reduce my nervousness. Is that the picture of strength and boldness she was looking for? lol No… it wasn’t. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t become that man in the future, it’s just that I wasn’t ready and mature at that time – and if I could have gone back in time and advised myself, I would have told myself: “Don’t worry about dating so much. Spend time maturing, learning, and growing into the man that she (whoever she is) will want to be with someday. She’ll come in her timing and God’s timing.”
So, when are guys ready to date? If you’re not that bold man filled with integrity at this time, then you’re not yet ready. That’s okay, start – or continue – training. Seek out opportunities to work hard, serve, learn, and if a situation comes along where a woman’s honor should be defended – then defend it.
But what if you’re interested in a girl now? What do you do? Try this on for size: Ask her father what you can do to learn about her and win her heart. “Are you kidding me?!? Do you know how scary that would be?” That’s okay, not everyone is ready to fight for and win the heart of a woman. Remember, loving her is about seeking her best interests and her needs above your own; so, if you’re really interested in her, then approach her father and tell him so. Ask him what he would recommend that you do – after all, he has a vested interest in making sure that his daughter is protected and wants to know that the guy that eventually will sweep her off of her feet loves her just as much as he does.
The best biblical series I’ve ever gone through in learning how to become a man is by Robert Lewis and titled: The Quest for Authentic Manhood. In this course, he creates a no-nonsense definition of what it is to be a man that you can firmly grasp. If you can find a course near you – or can convince your church leadership to host it for a group of men, I would *strongly* encourage you to go through it. It is well worth the time and investment to do so.