When I was ten, I was already dreaming about my honeymoon. My best friend recalls me floating down the beach in an inner tube, completely unaware of how far I had drifted. When they finally got my attention, they asked me why I had floated so far. My response? “I was on my honeymoon in Hawaii.” Daydreaming has always been an issue for me. ~smile~
Something to bear in mind when you are planning your honeymoon is the fact that people dream of “this amazing trip” for many years. Often, when we dream of something for so long, reality does not do it justice. So, I would encourage you to go into your honeymoon expecting it to be a fun time of getting to know each other better, but don’t expect it to be pure ecstasy from the time you leave your reception until you return home. Chances are it will be great, but probably not Hollywood great. ~smile~
So, as you prepare for your long awaited honeymoon, consider the tips below.
- Plan for a fun trip, but don’t expect it to be the most exotic trip of your entire life. Some couples think of the place they most want to visit in the entire world and go there for their honeymoon. Though it may be an amazing destination, it is better to save up and go on your dream vacation a year or so into your marriage. If you have a thousand attractions to see, you will spend your entire honeymoon trying to cram it all in so you won’t regret missing anything. However, this trip is meant for you to explore each other, not waterfalls, canyons, or ancient glaciers. So, consider putting off the trip of a lifetime and honeymoon somewhere that will encourage you to maximize your time together. All you will need is a nice room and a comfortable bed – and maybe a hot tub. ~smile~
- Maximize alone time. In case I didn’t beat this point enough above, I will mention it again. As you plan your honeymoon, try not to focus too much on external activities. I’m not suggesting that you stay in your room all week and never come out (although, there is nothing wrong with that), but create a relaxing, flexible atmosphere; and, if you’d rather stay in and have sex, then ditch the tourist attractions and enjoy each other instead. You only have one honeymoon.
- Bring home a souvenir. Bring something home from your honeymoon which will remind you of this special time in your relationship. Put it up in your home somewhere you will see it a lot. It is nice to stop and remember special moments – especially when life gets hectic and you can’t remember why you thought getting married was such a good idea. ~smile~
- Don’t pinch pennies too much. Generally, I am a huge advocate for saving money and being a cautious spender, but you should splurge a few times in your life if you have the means. Honeymoons are one of these splurging times. Though I don’t think you should go into debt for a honeymoon, I think you can be more free with your spending as long as you have budgeted for it. Maybe you would not pay $80 for a special dinner most nights of your life, but on your honeymoon, it’s okay. Budget more than you think you will need so you won’t have to hold back so much (or, at all). When you get home, get back on a sensible budget and start socking money away for the future. Then, hopefully, you and your spouse will be able to go on more trips later!
- Talk a lot. You have made it to the altar and received your “diploma” (i.e., marriage certificate), but your real education has only just begun! You will never run out of tidbits to learn about each other. Eric still surprises me. You like that? You’ve done that? Consider buying the Ungame, Couples Version and going through the questions together. Also, bring games you both enjoy and feel free to add a special honeymoon twist to them. ~wink~
- Become comfortable with each other’s bodies. Contrary to popular belief, this does not necessarily happen overnight. Couples can have sex and still not be fully comfortable with each other’s bodies. Explore each other. Talk about what you like and don’t like. Read Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman. Make discovery, and not only sex, a goal of your time together.
- Step away from the technological distractions. Put the phone away. Leave the iPad at home. Focus on each other.
- Practice conflict resolution. If you attended a premarital class or received pre-engagement and premarital counseling from us, you should be familiar with some conflict resolution (and prevention) tools. Don’t be surprised if opportunities arise for you to use them – even in the first week of marriage. You are learning to “dance” through life together and you will step on each other’s toes as you learn your unique dance. Don’t push issues aside just because you are “supposed” to be having the time of your life. Stop, deal with them, work through them, and then practice the time-honored tradition of making up. ~wink~
- If the sexual interaction you have is not crazy amazing, don’t fret. Society and Hollywood sets us up for disappointment. While some paint honeymoon sex as the best sex ever, the truth is that honeymoon sex is often just okay. You are learning. You are getting to know each other. You are finding your rhythm, so to speak. Lord willing, you will have a lot of years to practice together and your sex life will greatly improve as long as you make a priority out of good communication, conflict resolution, forgiveness, and sex.
- Spend time each day in prayer and in God’s Word. Start your marriage off on the right foot by centering it around Christ from the very beginning. You will create habits in those early days of your marriage without even realizing it. So be intentional about spending time reading the Bible and praying together each day. If you try to start the habit later, it is bound to be much more difficult. Build your family culture around Christ instead of trying to fit Him into your lifestyle later.
We hope these tips are helpful for you. When wedding planning stress starts to get to you, focus on the “reward” that awaits you once you get through it all! ~smile~
How will you maximize your honeymoon experience?