It has been said that big changes are easier to make than little changes. I have found this to be true in many situations. Moving to a different area is less difficult (in the long run) than committing to a dietary change or giving up television for some time.
Before getting married, it’s important to consider a lot of the “little” changes that will take place. One little change will be in grocery shopping. You may be used to getting the exact same fifteen items every time you go to the store; however, you may be marrying someone who loves variety, who may not enjoy the food you enjoy, or someone who has food allergies. Eating differently is one little thing that takes some time getting used to the changes. Even if the changes aren’t huge, chances are there will be some difference in how your pantry looks before and after marriage.
Another small change that may seem like an enormous change when the time comes is sharing a bed. Many people in America are used to having their own bed growing up, even if it is a small one. You may have been looking forward to sharing a bed with your future spouse (for other than obvious reasons); yet, don’t be surprised, or devastated, if you don’t find sleeping together (and I do mean sleeping) easy at first. It could take some getting used to, and some adjustments may need to be made if certain bed routines keep the other one awake (e.g., television on while going to sleep, reading in bed with the light on, excessive snoring, etc.).
The modern epic battle fought for years in many marriages has been the battle of the television remote control (even the name implies power). What should you watch together? As more people have multiple televisions in each house, and as there are now so many different ways to watch shows and movies (computers, smartphones, etc.) this issue may not be as big of a battle as it used to be; however, when you want to spend time together watching television, it is something that could cause a potential tiff. I haven’t met anyone yet who said they divorced because they couldn’t watch one more episode of Project Runway; however, you will want to consider your spouse’s preferences when choosing shows to watch.
Big, important, life-changing events will only take up a small portion of your life together; whereas, the little things may not seem that important, but it is the little things that make a marriage (and a life). While adjusting to the little things in your marriage, apply much grace to your spouse as he or she will be adjusting too. If you both approach this new period with attitudes of generosity and selflessness toward each other, you will create a wonderful precedent for the rest of your marriage.
Whether you are married or not, take some time to talk about “the little things.” Discuss what a normal daily routine would look like for you. In doing so, there are sure to be some rabbit trails of discovery. Discuss as many of them as you can, but don’t stress out if you cannot plan for all of them. Life happens in unexpected ways – you can prepare for it as best you can, but it will surprise you on some levels!
Can you think of some “little things” that may change after you get married?