If some days you’re the windshield and some days you’re the bug, then I’ve been the bug for five days. Having a sore throat, congestion, an annoying cough, ear pain and absolutely no energy, I am starting to feel helpless and worthless in my own skin. (This is also why last week’s entries were sparse on our blog – sorry about that!)
Yesterday, I emptied the dishwasher and washed a load of towels (which are still in the dryer waiting to be folded) and those were my only big accomplishments. So far this week, I have had to cancel lunch with a friend, movie night with another friend, coffee with yet another friend, and strawberry-picking with the ladies at my church. It seems that no matter how many times I tell myself that there are others in the world going through real suffering, I still feel about five minutes away from a mammoth, three-year-old, “I want to go outside and play!” tantrum.
Life is full of disappointments. Some disappointments are life changing such as broken engagements, miscarriages, or being fired/laid off from your dream job. Other disappointments are minor, such as having a ball game rained out, weather ruining travel plans, or a sickness wrecking lunch dates with friends. At any rate, most of us will go through our share of disappointments in life.
Have you ever seen your boyfriend or girlfriend reacting to disappointment? How does he react when his team loses? How does she react when plans don’t go her way? Everyone reacts negatively at some time or another. It would be doing you an injustice to recommend that you find someone who never has a bad day because you would be lonely forever; however, I do recommend that you investigate two factors when your boyfriend or girlfriend encounters disappointment:
- First, how does he or she react to disappointment? (e.g., angry outburst, shock, tears, whining, etc.)
- Second, how does he or she bounce back from a disappointment?
When I was young, I hated when ballgames were on TV – especially if they were my dad’s favorite teams. I didn’t understand the rules, I didn’t have any interest in sports, and I hated how much they upset my dad. When his team would lose, it would put him in a terrible mood. My dad was a lot of fun and very cuddly, so it aggravated me when a ballgame would wreck his mood. It aggravated my mom too, but she would stay out of it. Apparently she’d learned to do so. ~smile~
Back then, it would take him a long time to bounce back from a loss. It may have even taking him longer than the players themselves. Nowadays, I’m happy to report that though he still gets annoyed when his team loses, he doesn’t stay in a bad mood nearly as long. Somewhere along the line he realized that it just wasn’t worth all the energy!
Often someone’s initial reaction to minor disappointments is not as important as how long it takes him or her to bounce back. If he gets angry because his team loses, but in ten minutes or so he is back to normal, then I wouldn’t be too concerned. If she cries or gets frustrated when she’s not able to make an appointment due to traffic or your taking too long to get ready, but she’s herself again soon, be thankful your night isn’t ruined. We will all encounter minor disappointments. Our maturity level shows in how long it takes us to get ourselves put back together.
(Please note that I’ve been talking about minor disappointments. Major disappointments can temporarily, or in some cases permanently, change a person’s behavior and/or outlook on life. It is not feasible to expect someone who has encountered a serious tragedy to bounce back quickly.)
How does your boyfriend/girlfriend react to disappointment? How long does it take him or her to bounce back?