“I am going to lose one hundred pounds in one year!” In August of 2014, I made the grand announcement that I planned to lose an alarming amount of weight in one year. It is hard to believe that was almost seven years ago! As the year began (with the celebration of my 32nd birthday), my weight loss journey felt somewhat comfortable. I was losing weight, making diet changes, exercising, and feeling energized by my progress. Some months felt like major successes and others felt rather slow.
Then came March.
Attempting to motivate myself, I asked Eric to take some of my personal money and hold it for me. If I did not meet my goal weight by Friday of that week, I did not get my money back. It sounded like a good idea at the time. -sigh-
Then Friday morning came, and I was off by over 2 pounds. I was devastated. In the scheme of life, the amount of money I stood to lose was nothing, but at the time it felt like everything – and it felt like failure.
“I cannot let this happen.”
So, I tried some last-minute ideas to shed the extra “weight.” Basically, I dehydrated myself. I worked out covered in trash bags and coats to sweat out extra water. This netted me 1.3 pounds. I drank nothing. I spit into trashcans. Short of making myself physically sick, I worked hard to eek out those extra few ounces. Finally, I stepped on the scale, and saw the “magic” number. (Yes, now I can eat and drink something!) I took a picture of the scale, and from there I got ready, picked up some sushi, and headed over to a friend’s house.
I felt completely weary and looked haggard. As I ate my lunch (not as vigorously as you might think), she looked at me with question marks in her eyes. “I can tell you’ve lost weight. I can see it in your face.” Her compliment felt more like concern than jubilation. And, she had reason to be concerned. When I look back over my “year of weight loss,” I consider that day in March the day my progress ended – the day my diet died.
From that day forward, I could not bring myself to put in the effort. When I sweated out those few pounds of water, I somehow sweated out my will to keep moving. I used unhealthy means to make a small, ineffective gain, and I let it strip me of six months of hard work.
Though I would love to tell you I jumped back on the horse the next year or the year after, I cannot. There was a three-month period I tried the Keto diet, and I did well until a 4 for $4 candy sale at the CVS derailed me. (Let’s be honest. I derailed myself.) Eric said, “You didn’t fall off the wagon. You dove off the wagon.” He was not wrong!
Does Anything Matter Anymore?
Then, my Dad suddenly died. Everything in my life changed: my identity, my motivations, my outlook on life, my relationships, and my desire to consider the future. My doctor commented about my rising numbers at my next appointment, and I responded, “My dad died in July and I haven’t cared about anything since.”
She was gracious. She said, “I understand you need time to grieve, but then you need to get on this.” So, of course I headed out and walked three miles, right? No, I ate cereal. Lots and lots of cereal. In the morning, noontime, dinnertime, and midnight. I stuffed myself with empty calories, often using the excuse, “I need to take my medicine with food.”
Then, March rolled around again. Six years after my epic sweat-a-thon brought my weight loss ambitions to a halt, my college friend, Laura, visited us. If anyone understands my struggle with weight loss, she does. Several months before her visit, she told me she was joining a group to help her on her health journey. She spoke about her success, but I did not fully appreciate it until she came to my front door. Wow! She looked so good, and so healthy. Not weary and haggard, but strong and happy.
Over the weekend, she talked with me about her weight loss (or, I should say, health gain) and the statement which stood out to me the most was, “I am happy to be taking this journey slowly.” Up until this point, weight loss has always felt like an insurmountable obstacle to me. Because the mountain is so high, I have to get a running start and charge it like a bull!
I must lose weight fast! I must see immediate progress. The scale determines my worth each day.
Over the last six years, had I stayed on my journey instead of giving up, I would surely be where I wanted to be by now. Instead, I jumped ship and lived more years feeling sick and dissatisfied with my life. In fact, had I continued moving towards my goal, I would have only needed to lose 1.28 pounds a month to get me to my desired weight.
My unhealthy expectations, desire for quick fixes, and my unrealistic view of weight loss (leaving health out of the equation) pushed me off track. Had I simply made healthy decisions and practical life changes, I would have easily met my goal – eventually.
Maybe I Can Do This?
When Laura left, I felt inspired (and also nervous, because I know inspiration only gets us so far in life). Slowly, I started making some changes. It has only been a few weeks, and I have far to go, but I am pleased to be back on the road to health again – this time, happy to be taking the journey slowly. {Eric’s note: Heather did not mention she was going to make changes; she just started doing them, not forcing her changes on me either, and I have noticed.}
Are you like past me? Do you jump into a new project hoping for immediate success and quit when it is not fun anymore? As I approach my midpoint in life, it is becoming clearer that health is more important than a number. The same is true in other areas of life… such as relationship health is more important than a million Instagram likes. What is really happening is more important than what others see. In 2014, people saw a girl losing weight and looking better. Most did not see a girl who was thinking about her weight day and night, living on the scale, and looking for the next way to lose ten pounds in a hurry.
Going forward, I want to break free from the weight loss chains. I want to be free to lose what is unhealthy and gain what is healthy. With that in mind, here are ten thoughts to keep us all grounded as we break through barriers and set our sights on a better future one day at a time.
- Keep an eternal perspective. Nothing matters more than preparing for eternity. We get easily distracted by today. Maybe this is why I love going outside and gazing at the moon and stars. It reminds me of how much is out there and how God has a hold of it all. As you make positive changes, remember to prioritize eternity over this vapor of a lifetime. “Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” (I Timothy 4:7-8, ESV)
- Take it slowly. Not so slowly that you make insignificant changes, but be happy to celebrate small victories. If it takes longer than you would like, that is okay. It is about the long game. Slower, steady progress will likely lead to longer lasting gains. (Eric often says that the tortoise wins every time he reads the book….)
- Broaden your goals. In 2014, I wanted to be thinner. Sure, I talked about health, but more than anything I wanted to see a number on a scale. I wanted to feel attractive again and that meant being a certain weight. (Note: Eric has never made me feel like I had to lose weight to be worthy of his love or affection and I appreciate that so much.) This time around, I want to focus on feeling better, noticing less obvious improvements, encouraging others, and enjoying myself. Sure, weight loss is a goal, but there are other important goals which go right along with it.
- Stop beating yourself up when you face eating and fitness failures. If you cannot stop on your own, look for help. Abusing yourself will not get you to health. Even if you “beat” your body into submission and meet your weight loss/physical health goals, your mental state will still be unhealthy. A healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand.
- There is no need to do it alone. Walking is more fun with a friend. Eating healthfully is easier with a companion doing the same. Success is more satisfying when shared with those we love. Do you need to make a grand announcement on social media like I did all those years ago? No. Though, you can, but it is not something you must do. Whether you share your journey with the masses or three close friends you trust, share it with someone. The mountains and valleys will be sweeter if you do. If you are in a relationship, let him or her join you on the path.
- Eat food. I love junk. I crave cheeseburgers often and pizza is my love language (no, seriously). When I see the candy aisle at Walmart, I am more covetous than any five-year-old. Colorful fruit snacks still call to me, but I know these treats are not food. They do not nourish. For the most part, choose to eat actual food. Eat food your great, great grandmother would recognize as food.
- Prepare. Prepare for upsets. Prepare for plateaus. Prepare for hitting walls. Prepare for occasional poor choices. You will not always feel great on this trip to better health. Some days you will wonder if it is worth the trouble. Know that such seasons are coming. Have people waiting to encourage you in those times. Write out your victories so you can revisit them on the tough days. Wake up each morning and thank God for His new mercies and for another chance to make positive gains (cf. Lamentations 3:22-23).
- If your significant other you are dating tries to derail your efforts, pay attention. Such behavior is likely a red flag. Why does he or she want you to avoid bettering yourself? Have a talk and see if there is a reasonable explanation for this. Is there fear involved? If he or she continues to block your progress, it is time to consider parting ways. If your partner will not support your basic health goals before marriage, what else will he or she not support (or actively try to sabotage) after marriage?
- Stop and breathe. Right now, I am enjoying the late afternoon sun beneath my beautiful tree which blooms every April. The sun peaks out from the clouds and then slips back underneath. My dog and my friend’s dog (which we are currently housesitting) are enjoying the smells of the yard. My feet are propped up and I am breathing deeply of this gorgeous day. My mind is not on tomorrow, or next year, or how happy I will be when I finally “make it.” My mind is on this moment and how I am thankful for “small” blessings.
- Remember to Whom you belong. “Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.’” (John 6:35, ESV) No matter how much we try, nothing this side of Heaven will fulfill us. Only Christ satisfies. No momentary success will ever be enough. Only Christ is enough.
Are You Marrying a Partner?
In marriage, you will experience many opportunities to make positive changes. Sometimes they will be health-related, sometimes career-related, and sometimes emotionally related. If your spouse is supportive, your chances of success are much higher. You can certainly meet your goals alone, but loving encouragement is balm for the soul. How many people want to keep going when they are met with criticism or indifference? How does your someone react to your changes? Does he or she celebrate with you, help you, or even jump on the wagon with you? Does he or she make snide remarks, barely acknowledge your victories, or try to sabotage your efforts?
Dating is a special season where you get to observe and take notes. Right now, you have a choice. You do not have to join your life with this person if you do not want to. Notice how your significant other responds to your journey (and notice how you treat him or her during the process). Are you dating teammate material? Are you teammate material?
Balance
My sweet mentor, Miss Betty (whom I miss terribly) once said, “Balance. We need to have balance in our lives.” She said a million words to me in our twenty-nine years, but a few remain in the forefront of my mind. Healthy people are usually balanced people. Healthy people are rarely obsessed with any one project or goal.
Balance. As I move forward in my journey, and as you move ahead in yours (whether it be physical health or something else), let us first set our eyes on Christ, and then commit to a healthy, steady path.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:33-34, ESV)
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. (Psalm 119:105, ESV)
Keep breaking free!
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks. — Totie Fields
The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now. — Zig Ziglar
Do you feel bound to diets and/or preoccupied with your waistline?
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