They say it is not the wounds, the unrequited love, nor the failed ventures we regret; but, instead, the chances we never took. Regret is a bear, something we can put out of our mind during the day-to-day grind, and something we can put off until tomorrow. I will apply to college... tomorrow. I will call my dad... tomorrow. I will ask her out... tomorrow. Then, we wake up and realize how many tomorrows we wasted procrastinating or running from hard choices and emotional adventures. As I write this, I am thinking about a man I have never met; but, one whom I know is questioning his choices … [Read more...]

Sitting down to write this morning, I feel a bit hypocritical. Last night, I outlined several reasons to be grateful and exude thanksgiving… and only a few mere hours later, I am tested. These last couple of weeks have been a bit stressful, but I kept thinking, “If I can just get through this, I will make it to the kick-off of the holiday season – celebrating my brother-in-law’s birthday.” We make sure to celebrate birthday celebrations as a family priority. The day before we were to head out for my brother-in-law’s birthday day, a cold decided to come for a sickness visit. So, Eric said, … [Read more...]

“I am your only shot. No one else is coming for you.” I remember a friend of mine recounting these words. Her sister-in-law heard them from the man she was then-dating; and, worse, her sister-in-law believed him. Before she knew it, she was his wife... and he was everything you would expect him to be: demanding, unkind, belittling, and a complete, hypocritical fraud who presented well in public and not in private. As a teenager, I felt so sorry for this woman even though the event had occurred twenty years prior. She eventually divorced him and managed on her own with her children; but, the … [Read more...]

As his hands approached mine, tears sprung to my eyes. “Breathe, Heather, just breathe.” Slowly I reached out and took the balled-up snake. My friend came with me to the Pet Aquatic Wearhouse to witness this event (though she surprisingly did not ask for a turn holding the snake), and to take my picture “snuggling” my new snake friend. For a few minutes, I stood there feeling a bit shocked and a bit thrilled. Anyone who knows me knows snakes are near the top of my no way list. To be fair, I have a Biblical reason ~smile~… The LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, … [Read more...]

Do you ever have recurring dreams? Dreams which show up randomly, sometimes year after year, and take your mind and emotions for a ride? If so, you have my empathy. I have experienced the same genre dream for about twenty years. The settings are different, but the dreams always end the same way. Dressed in white, I start walking tentatively towards the altar and groom-to-be when I realize, “I cannot do this! I cannot marry this man!” (note: these men are not Eric) Then I turn, flee down the aisle, and I can see his face and feel his anguish and rejection in my sleep. It is gut-wrenching. … [Read more...]