We are firm believers that marriage is a covenant and that an attitude of “we will resolve the problems that come our way in marriage” is a healthy paradigm. However, at the same time, if you feel like you are constantly striving to make your premarital (dating or engagement) relationship work, that can be an indicator for long-term heartache (note: it is normal to have occasional disagreements while learning how to relate to, and understand, each other). Ultimately, if the relationship is perpetually difficult and you’re not yet married, what are some indicators that it is time to dissolve the relationship?
One of my friends, Debra Fileta – a counselor in Hershey, Pennsylvania – wrote an article for Relevant Magazine addressing this issue. If you’re deciding whether or not to end your premarital relationship, her article provides a few key points in evaluating that process.
“Breaking up is hard to do.”
I don’t know about you, but I wholeheartedly believe that the title of this song holds some serious weight. Breaking up is really hard to do. For those of us who have experienced the thrills of dating, we know that it also comes with some of the most heartbreaking and difficult moments life has to offer.
Breaking up is hard to do because the very nature of dating asks of us to give a part of ourselves into the hands of another. We give our time, our money and, most importantly, our hearts. Our emotions are more valuable than we often give them credit for—and any of us who have given them away know how difficult it can be to get them back.
For those of you who may find yourselves in the aftermath of a breakup, the prospect of picking up the phone and reconnecting will be looming overhead. But before you dial that number, be sure to take some of these points into consideration.