Is there anything in the world that can compare to your beloved’s smile? Does your heart feel warm and happy watching them laugh and enjoy life? Are you looking forward to enjoying that beautiful / handsome smile for a lifetime? That is great, but let me warn you, the mouth that can curl upward will occasionally curl downward.
Unfortunately, the ones we choose to love won’t always be in a good mood. During the dating period, we generally see more good moods than bad moods. After all, new love makes the sorrows of life more bearable. There is nothing as exciting as the experience of new love.
During the engagement phase of your relationship, you are more likely to see a few bad moods, especially as wedding planning takes over your lives; but, even then, your beloved is usually seen in a positive light. The closer you get to marriage, or after marriage, you may experience your perfect person’s grouchy side.
It is a rare person indeed who is never grouchy. Grouchiness can be the result of lack of sleep, a nagging pain, hunger, weather, or simply an off day. One way or another, our grouchy bone is bound to flare up every once in a while.
What I have noticed about my grouchy bone is that it expects Eric to tolerate it. It says, “I’m having a bad day, and therefore, my husband who loves me should understand and let me continue wallowing in my grouchiness.” However, when Eric’s grouchy bone flairs up, I’m not nearly as accepting of it. His grouchy bone can explain its plight to me, with numerous excuses as to why he’s not in a pleasant mood, and I still want to roll my eyes and tell him to snap out of it.
The bottom line is: we are more accepting of our failures than we are of others’ failures – and this seems especially true in love relationships. When we wake up on the wrong side of the bed and snap at those we love, it’s easy to think of a list of excuses.
- My feet were cold all night, and then I had to get up three times to use the bathroom.
- My dog woke me up before my alarm went off, and then wouldn’t even use the bathroom when I took her outside in the freezing cold.
- After my lukewarm shower, I looked in the fridge and realized that my husband ate the LAST bagel… you know, the kind with the cinnamon and raisins that he doesn’t even like, so I had to get breakfast at a drive thru.
- McDonald’s had a line wrapped around the building and it took me twenty minutes to get my cold biscuit… and then I was late for work. Grrrrrr.
After mulling over everything that didn’t go our way, it is simple to justify our bad mood. However, when our spouse (or soon to be spouse) is short with us, or isn’t pleasant to be around one morning, we aren’t nearly as forgiving of their demeanor as we are of ours. “How dare he impose their grouchiness on me when I’m having such a good morning! Now I’m grouchy, and it’s his fault!”
What’s the point here? Grace. When Eric doesn’t get enough sleep for several nights in a row, he’s not the happy-go-lucky man he is on Christmas morning or when he’s playing games with friends. In those cases, he’s a hard-working man in need of a little grace and understanding. When he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, I have two choices: I can repay his grouchiness with my grouchiness, thus causing exponential grouchiness in the house, or I can choose to put myself in his shoes, and offer him kindness. I can dwell on his sharp words and become bitter, sparing back with harsh words of my own or I can recall all the wonderful things he brings to my life and thank him for all the hard work that has robbed him of rest.
Like any mood, bad moods pass – and they pass more quickly when they are met with kindness, gentleness, and grace. I have more grouchy days than I care to admit, but when Eric approaches me with a hug, and asks me what I need from him, my heart softens – and with that, my mood softens as well.
So, when you find yourself in the presence of the one you love in a bad mood, give them grace and offer your support. If you’re the one who is finding yourself in a bad mood, give it to God and focus on being thankful for the blessings in your life and move on.
On a random side note, did you like Oscar the Grouch growing up? I was a Big Bird fan myself, but Oscar was lovable too in his own way. In the 1984 movie, Follow That Bird, Oscar began the show by singing the Grouch Anthem. This is in honor of us all. Lyrics are below. Enjoy!
Grouches of the world unite!
Stand up for your grouchly rights!
Don’t let the sunshine spoil your rain
Just stand up and complain (heheheh)
Let this be the grouches’ cause:
Point out everybody’s flaws!
Something is wrong with everything
Except the way I sing!
You know what’s right with this world? Nuttin!
You know what gets me hot under the collar? You name it!
And the next time some goody-two-shoes smiles
and tells you to have a nice day, you just remember:
Don’t let the sunshine spoil the rain,
Just stand up and complain!
Just stand up and complain!