While it is not realistic to have every hobby in common, it is vital that husbands and wives share several similar, recreational interests. Life is full of exhausting “to do” lists, and if not careful, husbands and wives can fall into a dangerous rut. Having fun together breaks the mold of the ordinary and opens up communication naturally. When a couple can look forward to a hike, a movie, or a nice dinner out after five days of exhausting work, they can get through the day to day, mundane tasks. It’s when work takes over and there is no end in sight that despair and desperation sets into a marriage. When desperation enters the scene, it makes conditions far too favorable for emotional stagnation and extramarital affairs.
“What does this have to do with me,” you might ask? “I’m not even engaged yet.” Before becoming engaged to someone, it is important to know that you have many similar ideas as to how to spend your free time. When men and women get married, they are not just looking for functional companion, they are also looking for a playmate. Marriage is tough, but it can also be rewarding if time together is made a priority. If a husband and wife have little in common, finding enjoyable date night ideas will be tough, and the night can end with fighting instead of fun. At this point in your relationship, you may find that you are enjoying things your significant other enjoys. This often happens because the relationship is new and you enjoy almost anything you do as long as your boyfriend or girlfriend is with you. This newness is a wonderful feeling, but it does change. You still enjoy being with the other person, but your true hobbies, likes and dislikes shine through. When dating, it is important to be honest with yourself. Do some soul searching and ask yourself “if I was not dating this person, would I enjoy this activity?” If you cannot answer “yes” to a good handful of the things you and your potential fiancée do together, there is a good likelihood that this will be a source of stress for your relationship after you say “I do.”
It is good to have some different hobbies. This gives you a chance to enjoy the company of your friends and to maintain some breathing room in your relationship. A good exercise to find out which hobbies you and your significant other share is to each take a sheet of paper and write down twenty things you enjoy doing in your spare time. Do not share your answers until the other is done. In fact, don’t even sit in the same room. This exercise, like anything else in this process, won’t be helpful if both people are not completely honest. If ten of your answers coincide, you should not have a problem finding things to do together to keep your relationship fresh. If you have less than five, you will want to consider what married life would look like for you in the area of recreation. Does this person not enjoy certain things that are central to my life? Do I have an outlet to pursue this activity?
If you and your potential fiancée do not have very many recreational interests in common, you will want to consider trying new things together. If you continue to find little in common, this is a relational debt you will need to thoroughly consider before becoming engaged.