Upon meeting new people, I automatically assumed they were smarter, more likeable, and, in general, better than me. While I’m not one hundred percent sure of the roots of these beliefs, I do know they have been debilitating to me. For that reason, among many, I am thankful for my husband. He was never satisfied with letting me believe that I had no purpose for living. And, even when I hated it, he pushed me (and he continues to push me) to reach for goals and to fulfill my purpose.
Along with having a personal calling, couples can utilize their callings together as well. Just as individuals have to find them, couples also need to find their callings’ applications. When God created Adam, He said that it was not good for man to be alone, so he created Eve from Adam. God is obviously all about marriage, but why? Was God worried about Adam’s self-esteem? Was he concerned that Adam would not develop good social skills if he had no one but animals to talk to? While I cannot fully know the mind of God, I doubt these were His reasons.
Adam and Eve were told to multiply. While God could’ve created a being that produced offspring without another’s assistance, He chose not to do that. God determined that Adam and Eve’s purposes could be served better together than apart. It is no different today. Marriage is not God’s way of making us whole and happy. Only He can make us whole – and happiness is a choice. Marriage is an avenue to serve God better with another person than individually. This is one reason picking a spouse is so important: It is important to know his or her gifts, talents, and calling before marriage than getting married and believing it will just work out and hoping for the best.
As I said earlier, Eric has been a huge blessing to me by constantly encouraging me never to settle. We are blessed to have the opportunity to work together helping couples prepare for marriage. It is exciting to take the benefit of our experience, and the experiences of others under whom we have studied, to others.
However, working together has had its moments of frustration. We don’t always see every situation exactly the same, but we have grown leaps and bounds in our relationship by working together. If you are married, God has a work for you to do together. This does not automatically mean that you need to sell everything and go on the mission field. It doesn’t mean you need to quit your job and go to seminary. There are many jobs to do, and if you search for it, He will reveal it to you.
Just this afternoon, I was walking in my neighborhood and met a man who travels around the country to churches and camps doing magic shows. For years, he and his wife did it part time; but, in the past three years, they have been able to do it full time. It was exciting to hear about all the places they had been and where they were going next.
Not every couple will be able to pursue their “couple calling” in the form of a full time job, but that doesn’t make your work together any less important. My grandparents used to go door to door inviting people to church and they gave rides to those who needed rides – sometimes making several trips. The couple who did our premarital counseling was a couple in the church who wanted to help out in some way and they decided to become a marriage mentor. They both worked full time; but, still once a week they opened their home to a couple preparing for marriage. In addition to that, they facilitated a class on finances. They were not personal experts in relationships or finances, but they opened their hearts and homes to others and made a difference as a couple in a way they could not have done as effectively working separately.
It is important to learn your calling; for once each of you know your calling, you can discuss your talents and passions and merge them to form a practical way to serve others uniquely as a couple!
What is your calling as an individual? Have you discovered it? As a couple, have you found how you are going to use your callings together? If so, what is it?