Our goal is to help you increase clarity and
peace of mind in moving forward toward marriage!
Thank you for clicking to learn more about our premarital counseling service! You will find the answers to many questions below!
We (Eric and Heather) have each earned accredited master’s degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and have served clients since 2008. We have developed a comprehensive, well-tested, four-month, Biblically-based curriculum for those who are dating or engaged. Our curriculum will help you learn to understand your relational differences, resolve current issues, and give you a forecast of what lies ahead for you both – in both the joys and the difficulties – so that you can prepare now for when they come and even learn to avoid the obstacles altogether! (How much would that be worth to you?) Some couples come to us wondering if they should continue their relationships; whereas, others come to us with that decision made, but still want to know how to have a more vibrant, healthy marriage. In either case, our program will benefit you.
The following contains common questions you may have about the premarital counseling process. If you have any questions that are not addressed below, please contact us and let us know!
- Do you use Biblical principles?
Our curriculum is based on Biblical principles. We believe that the institution of marriage was created by God to glorify God. Since He created it, we believe that no one knows how to make marriages successful better than Him. He shows us how to have successful marriages in His Word. We assist by making God’s principles for marriage applicable for biblically-defined relationships.
- Have your other clients been successful in their relationships?
We have enjoyed watching many of our couples grow in just a short time. We’ve worked with clients dealing with issues of communication, trust, financial insecurity, anger and intense relational doubt and have seen them grow tremendously in the short time we worked with them. Many of the couples with whom we have worked are currently enjoying successful marriages, others are in the process of planning their weddings, and others have a more healthy dating relationship.
Though, to be fair, a handful of our couples have decided to end their relationship as a result of the program. However, we also consider this a success. If our program shines light into a relationship which has difficulty overcoming differences and they see that the relationship will not likely work well long-term, we are helping to prevent a future divorce. Couples who have broken up, though a painful experience, have also thanked us for our services in helping them to understand their relational realities.
- What have your other clients said about your services?
We have both video and written testimonials gathered from several clients throughout the years we have been helping couples.
Click to review the hand-written (but typed out for your ease of reading) testimonials or click to review the pre-engagement video and premarital video testimonials.
- Time commitment / How much out of session time will this require?
You will never leave the session wondering how to implement what you have learned. Each week, we give specific, useful assignments to our couples to help them put the principles they have learned into practice. Some clients have spent half an hour each on these assignments while others have spent several hours. The more effort you put into completing the assignments, the more you will gain from them. Usually the assignments are not extremely time consuming and often fit easily into daily life/routine. We do not assign busy work; we will only give practical assignments that will benefit you now and in the future. We recommend keeping your completed assignments for reflection and nostalgia.
- Can the curriculum be personalized?
We have specific topics that we are sure to cover based on the program; however, as we work through the curriculum, client concerns often come up and we want to thoroughly address each area of need. No two couples are exactly alike and our goal is to help each couple know themselves and each other better. This usually requires that we spend more time on certain topics than others.
Sometimes, we find that an issue either tangents too far from the material we are discussing or the time needed to completely explore the topic is greater than the time allotted. In those cases, we are open to scheduling additional sessions. The couple can either request the additional session(s) or we may suggest that the additional sessions be scheduled due to our experience in counseling with premarital couples.
- We’re having trouble. Can we address those issues or is this lecture-style counseling?
These sessions are interactive, not lectures. We will work with you and teach you how to work together in various areas. If you are having trouble in your relationship, we will address those issues within the time allotted or recommend additional sessions. We want you to be successful in life and will help you work through your relational difficulties.
- Will you be using any tests or assessments?
Yes! We use the Psychological Audit of Interpersonal Relationship (PAIR) Test and other personality testing measures. Other assessments may be added, if applicable to the package selected.
- What do we need to have available for the sessions?
If you are writing your notes on paper, we recommend having a 1 inch 3 ring binder to keep session notes and assignments organized. We also recommend purchasing tab dividers for your binder (8 tabs, one for each session/week). You should bring this binder (along with your printed, completed assignments) to every session.
You may also elect to keep your notes digitally on the electronic method of your choice. You will also need to be able to access completed assignments in session.
- Why would working with you be better than a local church offering premarital counseling at a cheaper price?
At this critical time in your life, you should carefully consider your various options. Before we were married, we went through two premarital counseling programs – one which was low in cost and one which was free. Knowing what we know now, the program we have developed would have helped us much, much more. There is a large difference between premarital counseling and premarital education or discussion facilitation about relationships; unfortunately, most of the time, the premarital education programs are called “premarital counseling.” We have an element of premarital education in our curriculum; however, when counseling issues arise (depending on the severity), we are able to dynamically shift and address those as well due to our training and experience.
The positive feedback we have received from our clients with our blend of education and counseling has shown us that our program is meeting our clients’ needs. Many clients have said that they received more from the counseling experience than they expected. This process will also teach you how to successfully communicate with your future spouse for years to come. With the many years ahead of you, we guarantee this process is worth your investment.
- I’m having doubts about our relationship – should we still come?
Absolutely! We have worked with a number of couples who were having doubts about their relationships. Several were able to work through their situations and are enjoying healthy relationships. Others decided that it would be best to part ways. It is so much better to explore your doubts before marriage as they will not likely cease after you marry until they are worked through or resolved. The more you know about yourself and your potential spouse before you marry, the easier your transition into marriage will be.
- My friends are telling us we don’t need counseling… why do you think counseling is necessary?
A person does not build a house without first creating blueprints. You would weigh the pros and cons of where to place the laundry room, the guest bath and the master bedroom. After looking into each room carefully, you would probably make adjustments to what you previously thought was your dream home. Premarital counseling is like the process of drawing blueprints for building your relational home. After understanding yourself and your fiancé/fiancée better, you will likely find the need to make adjustments to certain areas of your relationship (e.g., communication style, financial goals, lifestyle habits, etc.). The counseling process will show you aspects about yourself and each other of which you were previously unaware.
- My fiancé/fiancée doesn’t want to come. How can I convince him (or her)?
It is not uncommon to be apprehensive about discussing personal issues with others. While discussing the topic of premarital counseling with your fiancé/fiancée, find out why he or she is reluctant to engage in this process. If he or she is ultimately unwilling to consider premarital counseling, this may provide insight into his or her willingness to address problems in your relationship and future marriage.
- Are we too young to get married?
Studies show that the divorce rate for people marrying at 21 or 22 years of age is 40%- 50% higher than for people marrying at 25 years of age and 80% higher than for people marrying at 28 years of age or older. This does not mean that everyone who marries before the age of 25 is doomed, but if you are younger than 25, it is strongly recommended that you and your fiancé/fiancée seek counsel – and be open to input – before deciding to marry.
- How much does the premarital counseling program cost?
As we have learned a lot over the decade we’ve been working with couples, we discovered it was time to revamp our offerings to serve you more powerfully; so, we have upgraded our coaching packages. We’ll be serving you more deeply, providing more materials, and working with you for a longer period of time. These elements, along with our years of experience, allow us to create a premium, life-transforming experience for you! Our clients have told us they believed the cost of our services was easily worth what they gained through the process – not just for the immediate relational benefits, but for the lifetime application of principles learned. We look forward to helping you build a solid foundation for your future.
In order to determine the cost of the package, we will first meet with both of you in a free consultation. In this meeting, we will ask you some questions to gain a better understanding of your needs so we can create a customized package which is right for you. We aim to work with couples who will invest their time, energy, and finances into gaining clarity and peace about the direction and future of their relationship. When you make this substantial commitment, you can expect to learn more about yourself, each other, and your unique relationship, resulting in a life-transforming experience.
If you would like us to contact you for a free enrollment conversation, please fill out the PreEngaged Counseling intake form (linked below; both you and your sweetheart should each fill out your own) and we will get in touch with you two!
- We want to prepare for a healthy marriage and avoid problematic relational potholes! We’ve read and understand the above and we’re ready! How do we work with you?
Each person in the couple needs to fill out our online PreEngaged Counseling intake form. Once we receive both of your intakes, we will be in touch with you and will look forward to working with you! Again, if you have any questions which are not addressed above, please contact us!