When is the last time you set your mind on something and accomplished it? Maybe it was a college degree; perhaps, it was a half or full marathon; maybe you set your mind on captivating and winning a young lady’s heart. Accomplishing difficult endeavors does the heart good and determination pays huge dividends in the end.
A friend of mine recently completed an Iron Woman and she said that completing it felt better than the day she graduated college. While I’ve never experienced an Iron Woman, I can only imagine how amazing it must have felt for her to train, grow, and accomplish something so few people ever will.
Having goals and working to achieve them is vital in a person’s life. It keeps us going and presents new heights to reach for each day. A proverb says, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” I happen to believe that is true. When there is nothing to get you going, there are plenty of ways to kill time. This is why young people who have dreams, goals, and aspirations are much less likely to become involved in drugs, drinking, and sexual promiscuity. Setting and accomplishing goals makes us feel alive.
When a couple becomes married, it is tempting for each individual in that new family to become complacent. Before marriage, they were probably out a lot, doing different activities together, and planning their wedding. After marriage, it becomes all too easy and comfortable to come home after work, watch TV together, and allow life to pass by. Few people aspire to be couch potatoes. However, a good number of people wake up later in life and realize that their lives are going nowhere. Personally, I was so excited to be done with school; however, once I had graduated, I began itching to accomplish new challenges again. My life felt strange without having short term goals to keep me on my toes.
There are a few dynamic situations for couples who are accomplishing goals:
- There are the super driven couples that live to set and conquer goals. These couples generally seem alive and full of energy. As long as they maintain balance, and don’t let other important matters in their relationship slide, these couples are usually bright and full of life.
- There are some couples that are split between one person who is a goal setter and the other who prefers to sit and let life pass him or her by. It’s no surprise that these couples deal with a higher level of conflict than the first couple type mentioned. It is frustrating to have so much drive and inspiration smothered by a spouse who is unwilling to step out of his or her complacency.
- The last couple is the one who sits together on the couch year after year, never pushing each other to be better or to follow dreams. This couple may not have many conflicts, but how sad to know that one day they will wake up and wonder where their life has gone.
It is important to continue to accomplish something. Seeking to accomplish personal goals may sound selfish – and they may be if they take precedence over family and responsibilities – but, when balanced, personal achievements can enhance your marriage.
When I conquer an individual accomplishment, I feel like I am on the top of the world, which positively affects Eric. He would much rather have me smiling and joyous than dragging around the house putting myself down. Likewise, when Eric completes a goal, he brings a positive spirit to our home, and I can’t help but share in his success.
In addition to personal goals, it’s good to set goals as couples as well. After all, the time spent working towards your couple goals is time spent together. Use goal-setting and goal-accomplishing time together in your relationship to discover how each of you are motivated.
If you are in a rut in your life, I would encourage you to find something that interests you and reach for a new goal. If you are in the midst of completing several goals right now, good for you! Do remember to place a reasonable amount of interaction of your important relationships in your life as a priority over your goals. Additionally, guard against growing complacent and lazy once you achieve those goals. There is more to do and more to accomplish. Have fun accomplishing together!
What are you excited about accomplishing?