Two score and zero years ago, my parents brought forth on this planet a baby girl who up until a few years ago could not even imagine turning forty years old. When my parents turned forty, I thought they were old! As my thirty-ninth year flew by, I found myself dreading this next birthday – just as I did when I was twenty-nine. And when the day came, as you might expect, I felt no different. Thankfully, when I look back at my life, I can see so many lessons learned and God’s hand on my destiny even in the darker times. At later point in this decade (“the 4th floor,” as my friend calls it), … [Read more...]

(Even though our primary audience is pre-engagement and premarital couples and this post is primarily about spouses, many of the same principles will apply. Consider them as you consider your future and while you’re observing each other before marriage.) This afternoon at Kroger, my mother-in-law struck up a conversation with a young man holding a beautiful bouquet of roses. When I returned to the check out line with our final items, she pointed out the roses and told us he was about to see his fiancée whom he had not seen in a few weeks (which at that stage of a relationship can feel like … [Read more...]

What role did hospitality play in your home as you were growing up? Was your house the place everyone gathered or did your family keep to themselves? Was there an open-door policy with friends, or did your parents appreciate a pre-visit preparation phone call? When you did have company, did the house have to be spotless or did your folks believe in grungy hospitality? When I was growing up, we did not have a ton of company partly because all our family lived in town and Grandma’s house was the meeting place. During the school year, my mom stayed extremely busy, and my dad did not mind … [Read more...]

Previously, I wrote about intentionally creating boundaries in your relationship. Each couple needs healthy personal boundaries as the couple gets to know each other. Then, when they decide to become a collective force – a unit, an item, a couple – they need to agree on which boundaries to place around their relationship – between themselves and the world. There is no shortage of hardships ready and waiting to afflict budding relationships; and, our spiritual enemy loves destroying families since the family unit was established by God. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and … [Read more...]

My best friend and her mom used to get so frustrated with me and my open-book, share everything, “policy.” With each person I dated, (or even those I only talked to briefly), I overshared about my life. I did not possess nuclear codes or Julia Child’s secret recipes (and still don’t), but the contents of my heart were more valuable than I believed at the time, and I tossed them carelessly at many handsome faces. We are not always careful to keep boundaries around our hearts, our story, and our personal information when getting to know a new and exciting person. Late night phone calls … [Read more...]