Confronting is not my favorite pastime. In fact, I am notorious for complaining about situations to the wrong people. As a child, instead of confronting my friends, I would complain to my mother about them. One day, she jolted me back into reality when she said, "Heather, do you like any of your friends?" Of course I liked them... I loved them! Unfortunately, my fear of conflict and my accommodator and abdicator tendencies prevented me from addressing the right people. Have you ever practiced confrontation (or perhaps telling someone off) in the bathroom mirror only to lose your nerve and … [Read more...]
What’s Your Conflict Management Style? (Book Review, Confronting Without Offending, Part 2)
We all have different ways of dealing with conflict. Some of us like to attack it head on (possibly even enjoying it a little). Some of us do whatever it takes to keep the offending party happy, possibly even giving into the myth that ignoring problems is good and noble. Some of us just run away. When the going gets tough, these folks get going... in the opposite direction. And then, there are some of us who choose to work together to find a happy solution for all. Deborah Smith Pegues dedicates a chapter in her book, Confronting Without Offending, to each of these conflict management … [Read more...]
Weeds, Flowers, and Happy Marriages
A few months ago, a friend and I passed a yard filled with flowers while we were out running an errand. She told me that, before moving to Virginia, she also lived in a home with luxurious landscaping and lovely flowers. In fact, she and her husband fell in love with the property because of the beautiful flowers and plants surrounding it. But after they bought the house, they found themselves spending hours each weekend pulling weeds and tending to their “breathtaking” yard. In the Georgia heat, with sweat dripping off their faces, chances are the gorgeous yard they fell in love with didn’t … [Read more...]
Candy Crush Saga
My newest obsession is the game Candy Crush Saga. I’m sure a few of you can relate. ~smile~ However, over the last few days, I have been stuck on level 23. Considering there are 360 or so levels, I’m feeling just a tad disheartened! I play on our iPad and my phone, but I just can’t seem to move past this infernal stage in the game on any device! To make matters worse, my phone can’t handle the excitement and it freezes or shuts down every time I come close to winning... (I think it’s a conspiracy). I’m in the process of looking up tips online for how to get through this annoying level, but I … [Read more...]
Are You Ready to Rumble?!?! (Book Review, Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Part 3)
Sometimes, I think God only allows us to feel the ecstasy of new love so we'll want to get married and populate the Earth. After all, if we knew beforehand how much time and effort we’d be putting into conflict resolution, would any of us get married? ~smile~ Whether we like it or not, conflict is a part of life. Some enjoy conflict, even creating it where it doesn't naturally exist. Others tolerate it well and some people hate every part of it. If you enjoy fighting, that could spell trouble. If you avoid conflict when it's necessary, that will cause problems later in your relationship. … [Read more...]
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