Sharing a deep connection with the one you love is amazing – until it isn’t. Sometimes arguing with the one you love is just plain annoying. Why can’t we just get along and enjoy life together? Why is everything a battle? Eric and I have gone through seasons of ease and seasons of being constantly exasperated by the other. Why won’t she get going? Why won’t he calm down? Why won’t she be more outgoing? Why can’t he get it through his head that I’m an introvert? Why can’t she be more driven? Why can’t he be less driven? Relationships entail relating with someone else – and sometimes … [Read more...]
Can Gratitude Make or Break Your Relationship?
“Are you finished yet? We are late!” “I’m almost done. Hold your horses!” “Well, if we are late, I’m going to make sure the whole crowd knows whose fault it is. You are never ready on time and it makes me look bad! I’m so tired of your selfishness affecting my social life!” “Well, if you would do more of the things I have asked you to do over the years like, let’s say, paying the bills instead of creating them, I would not always be busy doing something to keep this family afloat! Our bills getting paid on time is far more important than your precious social life! Grow up!” “Maybe I spend … [Read more...]
Six Strategies for an Effective Confrontation (Book Review, Confronting Without Offending, Part 3)
Confronting is not my favorite pastime. In fact, I am notorious for complaining about situations to the wrong people. As a child, instead of confronting my friends, I would complain to my mother about them. One day, she jolted me back into reality when she said, "Heather, do you like any of your friends?" Of course I liked them... I loved them! Unfortunately, my fear of conflict and my accommodator and abdicator tendencies prevented me from addressing the right people. Have you ever practiced confrontation (or perhaps telling someone off) in the bathroom mirror only to lose your nerve and … [Read more...]
What’s Your Conflict Management Style? (Book Review, Confronting Without Offending, Part 2)
We all have different ways of dealing with conflict. Some of us like to attack it head on (possibly even enjoying it a little). Some of us do whatever it takes to keep the offending party happy, possibly even giving into the myth that ignoring problems is good and noble. Some of us just run away. When the going gets tough, these folks get going... in the opposite direction. And then, there are some of us who choose to work together to find a happy solution for all. Deborah Smith Pegues dedicates a chapter in her book, Confronting Without Offending, to each of these conflict management … [Read more...]
Weeds, Flowers, and Happy Marriages
A few months ago, a friend and I passed a yard filled with flowers while we were out running an errand. She told me that, before moving to Virginia, she also lived in a home with luxurious landscaping and lovely flowers. In fact, she and her husband fell in love with the property because of the beautiful flowers and plants surrounding it. But after they bought the house, they found themselves spending hours each weekend pulling weeds and tending to their “breathtaking” yard. In the Georgia heat, with sweat dripping off their faces, chances are the gorgeous yard they fell in love with didn’t … [Read more...]
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