I often think that if fitness buffs spent just 10 percent of their weekly workout time – say, twenty minutes a day – working on their marriage instead of their bodies, they would get three times the health benefits they derive from exercise class or the treadmill. – Dr. John Gottman The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling, and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt. – Dr. John Gottman This last quote makes me think of a Scripture passage. “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (I … [Read more...]
40 Tips for Better Communication
He snatched the plate from my hand and set it down hard on the table. Surprised, I just looked at him. What was his problem? I was giving him his choice between the two biscuits. What a horrible way to treat someone who is trying to be nice to you! Later that day, Eric suggested we talk about the uncomfortable exchange at the kitchen table. Calmly, we each explained what we interpreted from the situation (had we discussed it in the moment, I doubt my reaction would have been so calm). Eric said, “You have a habit of handing me stuff when I am in the middle of something. I was actively … [Read more...]
Taming Our Tongue (Experiencing Wisdom from the Book of James, Part 2)
“How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My … [Read more...]
It’s Send a Card to a Friend Day! (Connecting through Words)
We don’t utilize the US Postal Service like we used to. After my fifth grade boyfriend moved away, I spent many an afternoon eagerly opening my mailbox. Will there be a letter in there for me? Does he still love me? Are we still getting married someday and honeymooning in Hawaii? (Yes, I was serious!) At first, I got a letter every few weeks, and then months, and then, sadly, I had to admit it was over. I had given that eleven-year-old boy some of the best months of my life. ~sigh...~ But, while it lasted, I got an incredible high from those letters. In fact, I think I still have them! One … [Read more...]
Practicing Total Honesty with Your Children (Connecting Through Honesty, Part 2)
5 Ways I Hope to Shower My Future Children with Loving Honesty Babies are so stinkin’ cute. From the very beginning, they steal our hearts. No amount of crying, fussing, fit-throwing, or back-talking can make true parents stop loving their children. Sure, little people can age their moms ten years in two months, but somehow they are always worth it. After two hours away from her cubs, Mama Bear is ready to see her perfect lil’ sweeties again. ~smile~ And the poor daddies. Were they ever unprepared, not realizing how easily they could be wrapped around such a tiny little finger. How quickly … [Read more...]
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