Many of us have experienced a broken heart at some point or another. There is nothing in the world quite like it. It physically hurts. I think many people would prefer to break a bone, endure the flu, or sprain an ankle than to feel the desperate ache of a broken heart. At the time, it can seem like life is over and that nothing can heal the deep cut and emptiness. The first broken heart is usually the hardest – and since you don’t have an experience by which to compare it, you may wonder if it is possible to be happy again. After time passes and your heart heals, it can be a little bit easier to go through the next broken heart.
Some of you have had your share of broken hearts, some of you have broken a number of hearts, and some of you have yet to have a broken heart. I used to believe that experiencing at least one broken heart was necessary before moving into adulthood. It seemed like a normal rite of passage for teenagers; yet, I don’t believe that anymore. Some people will experience hurt in a romantic relationship and grow from the experience while there will be others who never experience a painful breakup. We all have our growing experiences and they are not all the same. Someone who reaches adulthood without having five or six romantic relationships under his or her belt is not necessarily an under-socialized hermit. In many cases, these are the wisest of young adults.
Let’s just say that I did not always use wisdom in my choices as a teenager. There were times that I chose to date people when I knew the Holy Spirit was urging me not to date them. Many of you are familiar with His still small voice. Sometimes it is just not the right time in your life for a relationship, even if the person seems perfect! And sometimes… the Holy Spirit may be protecting your heart, your time, and even your personal safety.
When I was very young, I dated someone who gave me nightmares. He was not terrifying in person, but night after night I (and even a few of my friends) would have dreams of him wrestling with snakes, kidnapping me, driving off of cliffs, etc. In retrospect, I can seen nothing about this guy that would be desirable, but I was young and incredibly naive. The longer we were together, the more overwhelmed I felt. My prayer life was hindered and I was constantly in turmoil.
Finally, I cried out to God and asked Him to take this boy out of my life. While I did not really want to lose being in a relationship, I knew I could not continue living the way things were going. God was faithful to answer my request and, within weeks, this guy that I thought I had to be with was with someone new.
Despite that fact that I had asked the Lord to take the relationship from me, I was heartbroken. I felt so foolish and betrayed. And, of course, he brought her around me the first chance he got. For six months, I thought I saw her face everywhere. Thankfully, the feelings I had for him began to fade and I was free! The happiness I had from dating someone outside of God’s will paled in comparison to the joy I had being free and pleasing Him!
Several months after he and I broke up, I heard that he’d beaten his girlfriend… the girlfriend he broke up with me to date. A few years ago, I was curious, so I looked his name up online and he had another charge of assault on a female. Once again I became curious, so today I found out that last summer he was arrested again for another assault on a female. When I look at the gentle man God gave me, I am in awe of God’s protection and provision for my life.
In this case, God allowed me to see a glimpse into why He did not want me in this relationship. There are other relationships He has told me to end and I will likely never understand why. However, the moral of the story is that God never tells us to endure brokenness without good purpose.
Are you feeling a deep stirring inside that your current relationship is not pleasing to God? Has he nudged your heart to let go of it? If so, it may seem all but impossible to do, especially if you love the person (or love being in love); but, obeying God’s voice in breaking up with a person is never the wrong decision; whereas, ignoring His voice will have life altering consequences. No one wants to experience a broken heart, but one broken heart now could save you from thousands of broken hearts down the road. For you who are God’s children, God has His best interest at heart toward you. Trust in Him and pursue the adventure He has for you.
Are you artificially holding a broken heart together?