For three months of my senior year of college, my life looked very much like this: Get up. Go to class. Pick up my boyfriend. Spend every minute with him until curfew. Rush home in time for room checks. Change into my pajamas. Pick up the ringing phone. Talk to my boyfriend for another hour or so. Go to bed. Get up exhausted. Repeat. (Just for clarity, this boyfriend did not become my husband!) It is no surprise my grades started slipping and my mental health declined as well. I vividly remember sitting in the hallway of my dorm sobbing because I had so much to do and I was so … [Read more...]

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical. – Unknown In my teenage years, I became extremely close to someone who was fluent in criticism. I loved her dearly and counted her as one of my most treasured friends; yet, when I was around her, I felt... heavy. A conversation did not go by without her ripping someone to shreds – often herself. Her comments seemed far-fetched and petty. Still, in spite of it all, I loved her and my heart hurt because I saw her critical spirit as a symptom of something … [Read more...]

Happy 13th Anniversary to my main man! When we took our vows all those years ago, I could not fathom celebrating our 5th anniversary, much less our 13th. So, when I see couples celebrating 30, 40, and 50 years of marriage, I know those years have flown by for them. It is amazing how life happens when we are not looking! Recently, I saw a softball team full of 12 years old girls – amazing ball players – and I thought, “These ladies were not even born when Eric and I got married! But it does not feel like we have been together that long! Where did the years go?!?” About a week ago, Eric … [Read more...]

Dear Younger Me, I remember when I was your age. The world seemed so open, free, and full of possibilities. Standing there with the love of my life, I felt invincible. Young love is such a powerful force. Actually, maybe it is young infatuation or hormones; but, whatever it is, it is powerful. ~smile~ What I would not give to go back there for just a moment – to breathe in the excitement of our future. The first time he looked at me with that more than friends gaze. The first time our hands brushed and chills shot through me. The first time we kissed after he weighed the pros and cons of … [Read more...]

The first year of marriage is like wet cement – the impressions made in it are much harder to change once it has set. – Robert Wolgemuth Yes, the first year of marriage sets the tone for the next several years to come. During that special season, we create habits and norms. What we do and say during that time carries weight for a long time – sometimes a lifetime. Since the first year of marriage is so important – and the first three months most important – why start creating great habits on day one of your marriage? Why not start now so you can transition comfortably into married … [Read more...]