Moving to Lynchburg to go to college was an adventure for me. For a small town girl that never moved, or even changed churches, leaving New Bern, NC, was the biggest adventure I’d ever taken. Thankfully, I came to college with Robin, a friend from home, so we went on this adventure and roomed together. After being on campus a few weeks, Robin’s back started bothering her. She was in a near death car accident a few years before coming to Lynchburg and she needed regular chiropractic adjustments. She found a chiropractor and asked me to take her to her appointment. Well, the first time we went to the chiropractor’s office, it took us an hour and a half to find the place. We went EVERYWHERE and saw parts of Lynchburg we were likely never meant to see. We called the office several times and the receptionist tried to be patient and direct us to the office… and we finally found it! The next week we went for another appointment and we got lost again! It took us an hour that time. We were so humiliated. Here we were: college students who could not find their office from campus. After our second experience, the receptionist said, “Let me make it easy for you. Get on this road and go straight until you see your college’s exit sign.” All that time, we only needed to turn on one road to get there, and we had tried twenty or more different roads! As it turns out, it only takes 10 minutes to get there from campus. As embarrassed as I was, I was so thankful to finally have a grasp of where we were and where we were going.
Now that I’ve been in Lynchburg for eight years, I can get to most places in it with little trouble. During our first two lost adventures where we just wanted to get to our destination, Robin and I found parts of Lynchburg that we would not have found otherwise. Many times, I’d be on my way somewhere, trying to figure out where I was, and I’d come across a road that I had travelled with Robin looking for the chiropractor. Many days, I was able to find my way somewhere because of the roads I discovered while being lost.
When you enter into a new relationship, it’s a lot like moving into a new town. You may have been in other relationships before, but each relationship is as different as each new town or city is different. Perhaps you were previously in a relationship for so long that you knew the other person inside out and now you are frustrated because you haven’t reached that point of comfort in your new relationship. Take heart, learning someone new does not happen overnight – fights, hurt feelings, and disappointments are likely to happen during that new journey. However, in the middle of them, they can feel insurmountable where you mentally dwell on just wanting to know each other well so you don’t have to go through these growing pains.
Yet, just as being lost in Lynchburg helped me learn the town, being “lost” occasionally in your new relationship will help you learn more about your boyfriend/girlfriend. Without occasionally losing your way, you will not learn things about him or her that you really need to know. We can’t think of all the questions we should ask right away – sometimes life has a way of throwing us into lessons we need that we would not otherwise learn. After a few years of marriage, I am thankful for the disagreements, hurt feelings and fights. It showed us areas of our relationship that needed work, and now we are able to move through our relationship with considerably more ease than in the beginning.
Take each day and get “lost” with your significant other… learn something new about him or her every day. If you are reading this, and you are discouraged with how long it’s taking your relationship to blossom, be encouraged. Just as the seed of a rose cannot be put into the ground and pulled out too early for its beauty as the seed needs time to grow, relationships also need time to grow. Be faithful to God and to each other and you will grow together and blossom over time.
What new things have you learned recently about your boyfriend/girlfriend or fiancée?