In the summer of 1967, The Beatles released their famous song All You Need is Love. Though this hit song has a few verses, the majority of the song is the chorus. The chorus, sung repeatedly, is sung, “All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love… love… love is all you need.” It’s a famous and uplifting song, but in the context of marriage, it’s simply… a lie.
Love is important in marriage, but it’s not all you need. In an attempt to sound romantic, and to justify foolish decisions, some couples like to believe if they love each other enough they won’t need the support of other people, money, or God. Countless couples get married with little preparation, even when their friends and family beg them to wait; yet, they claim “All we need is love!”
Once the stresses of life begin to pile up, couples who have rushed into marriage, and alienated others in the process, begin to experience loneliness and a longing for relationships. Soon they realize how much they need their family’s support and friends’ support. As special and important as your future spouse will be, you will still need the love and support of others (e.g., family, friends, church body, etc.).
Even though we don’t always like to admit it, we need money (or, purchasing power) to survive. We don’t need flashy cars and big vacations, but we do need provisions like food, water, and clothing. God does provide for the needs of His children, but this does not give us license to live recklessly and to enter into marriage lightly with no means of financial support.
The Bible says in I Timothy 6:10 that the “love of money is a root of all kinds of evils” (ESV). It does not say that money is the root of all evil. Money becomes an idol when we pursue it more than we pursue our relationship with God. Money, used properly, is a tool to purchase the items we need in life. When you enter into marriage, it is important to have the means to support a family. (See why you don’t just need love?)
Your plan may be to wait several years to have children, but if life surprises you with an early baby bundle, you need to have means to support your children. We urge you to not enter into marriage with no means of financial support (i.e., a gainfully employed person who can support a new family). This concept may not seem romantic, but trust me… constantly fighting over bills that cannot be paid is not romantic either. Though we trust in God to provide, often He uses our abilities and talents to earn money as His way of providing for us.
More important than money and other people, we need God. If you love your spouse, have a plethora of supportive friends and family, and a great paying job, your marriage will still be lacking unless God is in the center of it. We are called to love God more than we love our families. When we love and seek Him first, our priorities fall into place. Apart from God, we can never love our spouses fully because God gives us the ability to love.
Take some time and list items that you need for a marriage – include love, but keep on going down the list!
What other items, not in this post, do you need other than love for a successful marriage?