“What did you want to be when you were a little boy/girl? Now, what was the first thing you thought of?” These are two of Eric’s favorite questions to ask when he encounters people who are trying to determine their passion or calling in life. God made all of us with a specific purpose. None of us were put on Earth simply to float through life and anchor down our couches. Though I believe God takes pleasure in seeing us enjoy ourselves through play and fellowship with others, it seems evident through Scripture that He has a greater purpose for our lives than most of us realize.
Passion is something we tend to associate with a physical love relationship; and, while passion does come into play in this area, it is not limited to sexual pleasure. Passion is also defined through Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary as: “an ardent affection, a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept, and an object of desire or deep interest.”
A common misconception is that if we are working for God, it always must involve suffering (or, at least displeasure). It is true that at times we will have to suffer for the cause of Christ; yet, that does not mean if we are enjoying our work that we are somehow out of God’s will. What really matters is that we have sought God’s guidance and that we are working for His glory and not our own (1 Corinthians 1:31).
God places talents and passions inside of us to form a calling. Why wouldn’t He want us to pursue those passions? We should constantly be on our knees asking for His guidance and direction and we should pray and find what that passion is which God has put within us.
Passion is also important in a marriage. Not just a passion for each other, but a passion for your calling. When two people get married, their passions and callings should complement each other. This is not to say that each person should have the exact same passions, but if his and her passions primarily conflict (e.g., he wants to travel the world as a missionary and she wants to open a ranch for disabled kids to ride horses), they need to seriously consider if getting married is the best step for them.
As hard as it is to swallow, it is possible to love someone you are not supposed to marry. Breaking up can be gut-wrenching, but leaving your talents and passions to rot in order to marry someone who is heading towards something completely outside of your complemented passion will lead to a life of suffocating regret.
When you and your significant other are praying about whether or not you should marry, remember to diligently pray for God to reveal His calling for your life. Chances are His calling for your life will involve talents He has already given you – and even above that, talents that you have displayed over the course of your life in one way or another.
Before you marry, it is not only important to know and understand what makes you excited, but rather, what you feel compelled to do (and have largely often felt compelled to do). When you both know your passions in life, you can gauge whether or not you are pursuing compatible goals before getting married.
However, people do change. Their passions broaden and new passions emerge; but, having similar paths and passions before becoming one flesh will keep you and your future spouse from pushing against each other throughout your life together.
Discuss your passions and calling with your boyfriend or girlfriend and have him/her discuss his/her passions with you. If you (or both of you) don’t know what your passions and talents are, take some time to pray, search, and pursue passions before committing to each other in marriage.
{Eric’s note: In discovering my calling, I am a clarifier… and it’s true – and others have commented on this trait in my life. In review, I have noticed that it has been a part of who I have been my entire life. I help to clarify concepts, to make them more precise, concise, and easier to understand. (note: this is not about who or what you *want* to be and this is not about what you *do*; rather, this is about who you *are*… at your core. If you haven’t been doing it throughout your life, keep searching….)
There are myriad potential applications of clarification I could take, but what understanding this concept has done for me is that it has focused my self-understanding of how I am made help others best. Now that I truly know this about myself, occupations and life goals that do not lead me toward using my primary calling of clarification no longer appeal to me. This is a life-changing concept. If you would like assistance in finding your calling – that is a service I provide – check out the Learn Your Calling page.
I may even be so bold as to say… now that you have read this, if you don’t know your calling, you don’t have any business getting married. So, why it is important to find your calling and passion before saying, “I do!”? It is because when a man and woman come together in marriage where they understand their calling and passions and those callings and passions complement each other, they serve God and others in a more powerful and effective way together than they ever could apart by producing a vibrant synergy.}
Do you know your calling and passions? Does your future spouse know his or hers? Are you both pursuing them? Do they complement each other? What can you do with them together that you couldn’t do separately?
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