Please don’t get me wrong. I have nothing in the world against Shania Twain. As far as I’m concerned, she is incredibly talented and I like a lot of her music. However, one of her most popular songs, “From This Moment On,” has always rubbed me the wrong way. Perhaps it is because it came out around the time I was really starting to re-think the purpose of romantic relationships.
I was asked to sing this song in a couple of weddings. It sounds so good… so ideal… but this song and songs like it set us up. We listen to this kind of “romantic love makes everything perfect” music and then we are dismayed and disillusioned when marriage does not make us happy.
Consider the lyrics in blue below, and my comments in black:
I do swear that I’ll always be there.
I’d give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow,
for better for worse, I will love you with
every beat of my heart.
From this moment, life has begun
Um, no. “Life” does not begin on our wedding day. It changes, but it does not start. There are millions of single folks around the world who would attest to the fact that they are indeed alive.
From this moment, you are the one
The one what? The one perfect person in the world for me?
Right beside you is where I belong
This is true if you are married, even if every moment is not happy.
From this moment on
From this moment, I have been blessed
Likely true ~smile~
I live only for your happiness
And all the married people laugh hysterically!
And for your love, I’d give my last breath
Yep, still laughing…. We may die for the one we love (which is real love – John 15:13), but the divorce rate in this country speaks to the fact that we are not willing to give our last breath just to be a recipient of someone’s love. If you think about it, the line does not really make sense at all. You would give your last breath for his or her love? But, then you’d be dead.
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can’t wait to live my life with you, I can’t wait to start
You and I will never be apart
Never? Bathroom? Business Trips? A week trip to visit parents or a friend? Sometimes a little time apart is just what the doctor ordered? Can I get a witness?
My dreams came true because of you
Sigh, no one… absolutely no one can live up to this. All good and perfect gifts come from God (James 1:17). “The fluttery feeling in my tummy comes from you. The excitement about marrying you comes from you. The ring on my finger comes from you. But my dreams are not encapsulated in one person, and one mere human cannot control the fulfillment of my every wish.”
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn’t give
From this moment on
In this section, these words can be true. Sacrificial love sometimes has to give everything. Sadly, most people who sing this song are more interested in what they can gain in the relationship rather than what they can give. The divorce rate would be next to zero if couples lived by these words.
You’re the reason I believe in love
When we put our trust in man, we will always be disappointed (Psalm 118:8).
And you’re the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
NOT TRUE!!! Couples need God and couples need other people. Your relationship is not meant to be a closed door to the world. There are times where couples need to be alone, but we cannot count on our spouse to give us everything we need all the time – and that includes meeting our social needs.
My dreams came true because of you
I believe I have already written my piece about this one above. ~smile~
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn’t give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on
When I Was Twelve
Oh, how I would have adored this song… when I was about twelve. This is what I thought love was about. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall madly in love. Boy and girl overcome some struggle, and finally, boy and girl kiss and live happily ever after.
Why in the world did I think love was like that? Movies! Television! Books! Music! All the popular entertainment of my time said love equals happiness. It is a great story, and I wish it were true, but the truth is love equals sacrifice.
Couples have happy times, trying times, times of despair, and times of deep connection. Relationships go through highs and lows, but if we believe that a relationship is “no longer working” because it is not what we always imagined (perhaps because of songs like this one), then no one’s relationship is working… at least not for long.
Early in our marriage, several of my quarrels with Eric came as a result of the unrealistic expectations I had tucked away in my heart. According to my experience with the media, he was supposed to be a certain way and act a certain way. He could not live up to my Hollywood standards and I thought we must be doing something wrong because I was not happy. Why was I not happy?!?! Marriage was supposed to make me happy!!!
Perhaps this is why I struggle so much with love songs that paint marriage as a one long, exciting date. There are happy-go-lucky times and times of intense passion, attraction, and joy. There are also times of intense sadness, disillusionment, and change. At the end of the day, we have to remember that love is a choice and that the couples beside us, across the street, and across town are often struggling in some area – just like us. No marriage is perfect and we are not weird for not being deliriously happy all the time. ~smile~
Are there any love songs that rub you the wrong way? Which ones and why?