When to Say “I Love You” for the First Time in a Relationship

“I love you” are the three little words we all long to hear. They seem so simple and they roll off the tongue, but the meaning behind them is truly awe-inspiring. Too often, those precious words are uttered not to convey love, but to receive love.

Maybe you or someone you know has experienced this. You find yourself in a new relationship, so overwhelmed with blissful feelings, and before you know it the words “I love you” come flying out of your mouth while you stand there in hope of receiving an “I love you too” in return.

The beginnings of new relationships often do make people feel on top of the world. It isn’t always easy to keep your excited, fluttery heart, hidden. Something that feels so good must be love, right? So if I’m feeling love for someone, when should I let him or her know?

As you approach marriage, it is important to know when you shouldn’t say “I love you.” If you are dating someone, but are not yet sure that you want to marry him or her, then you should refrain from saying those three life changing little words. The phrase “I love you” should be saved for the man or woman you plan to marry.

Even if you are sure the person standing in front of you is the one, save those special words for when you propose – or when he proposes to you.

Why? This phrase has been thrown around to the point that its meaning has become blurred. You can certainly let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you care and that you deeply admire him or her; but, save the “I love you” phrase to signify a promise from you to him/her that you will always love him or her (in marriage, forever).

Waiting to tell your significant other that you love them can be tough, but consider what you are saying when you share that phrase with someone. If you tell a man or woman that you love them, and then it turns out that you would rather end your relationship and begin dating someone else, it is as if you have broken a promise to him or her. You are reneging on your declaration of love (remember, love is a verb – it is something you do) to pursue after another person (which is the antithesis of love).

Find other ways to declare your feelings for your boyfriend or girlfriend and when the day comes that you and your love commit to get married, exchanging those three little words will be a heartwarming memory to treasure.

Once you have committed to marry the love of your life, let him or her know how much you love him or her… often. Never stop saying it throughout your lives together. Don’t just say, “I love you” all the time, but occasionally explain what it is about him or her that you love.

Also, remind your future spouse how committed you are to him or her. Some believe that once you are married you become free of any insecurity in your relationship. As much as I would love to tell you this is true… it is not. Even, or especially, after marriage, it is important to remind your spouse that you are committed to him or her for life. Don’t wait for him or her to ask if you are committed – both say it and act like it to demonstrate your love for your beloved.

What guidelines have you followed in the past regarding when to tell a significant other that you love him or her? Have you told a boyfriend or girlfriend that you love him or her and then later regretted it?