To that sweet, young lady who worries she will never find love…
First of all, I want to hug you. I want to hug you long and hard and I do not want to let you go until you realize you are precious.
Secondly, I want to spend some time with you. I want to know what matters to you. I want to know what you dream about at night. I want to understand what hurts you and what makes you smile. I want to know YOU.
Thirdly, I want to tell you how much your life matters, and how valuable you are. I want to explain it, show it, help you discover it, and emerge you completely in this truth. I want you to know it – all the way down to your toes – “I am valuable!”
Lastly, I want to tell you to run. He comes along, like a savior. He looks you in the eye, smiles, and knows just what to say. He acts interested in you and speaks smoothly. He touches your hair and you begin to melt. He offers a sad story about his life and you feel your heart ache for him. Then, he tells you that you are beautiful. He reaches out for you, and you…
This is the part of the story where many young ladies fall into a man’s arms, giving in to the promise that he will always love her. But, what comes next is not too surprising. The relationship seems great, for a little while. Then, he slowly loses interest. His affections begin to wane. Her insecurities rise to the surface. She begins to question him and his whereabouts, and he responds coldly, “What, do you think you own me?!”
So many young women grow up believing they are not good enough. Comparing themselves to the women on TV, they decide they are just average, or not even average. Sadly, their families either do not take an interest in showing them how beautiful and valuable they are, or they do not understand how much their daughters and sisters need to hear it. Daddies withhold affection – sometimes because they do not want to appear inappropriate to others. Moms push excellence and achievement and can lose sight of how much their daughters need heart-to-heart, woman-to-woman talk.
Girls from all different situations can reach puberty believing they are not good enough. It is not only rich girls whose parents are constantly traveling. It is not only girls from low income situations. It is not only children of divorce or daughters of abusive fathers who go into the world seeking love and acceptance. These sweet, innocent young women are everywhere. They fall prey to these players because somewhere inside they believe they do not deserve better. “No one else is coming for me. This may be my last chance at love.”
I know this girl well… because I was her.
My parents are not rich. My parents are not poor. My parents are not divorced and my parents are not abusive. My parents love me and they have always said so. I was the girl you would have assumed knew her worth… but I did not. I fell for the lines. I wanted so desperately to believe the words, “I will always love you” from a boy I barely even knew. Somewhere in my core, I worried that this may be my last chance at love.
God, in His infinite mercy, kept me safe. I am thankful that in my insecurities, God and my parents protected me from some potentially harmful relationships.
My own experience makes me want to find these young ladies, hug them, talk to them, encourage them, and admonish them to stay away from the smooth-talkers who only want to gratify themselves. It can be hard to pick these guys out of a crowd when you are young; but, if you listen to those of us who have been there, you can avoid the heart-breakers, innocence-grabbers, and string-her-alongers.
Sweet, young lady who worries she will never find love, please do not give yourself away to someone who is not committed to you and does not value you. Please, please, please keep on moving until you meet a man who sees you as you really are and wants to build a life with you.
If your gut tells you he is bad news, he probably is. Same for you, gentlemen – if you find yourself tangled up with a girl and something does not seem right, something probably is not.
To that sweet, young lady who worries she will never find love, God loves you. He loves you so much He sent His only son, Jesus, to die so that He would pay the price of God’s wrath for those who repent of their sins and put their faith, hope, and trust in Christ; it is they who will receive eternal life. No other man will ever love you as much as Jesus.
But, when it comes to current-day human men, do not settle for counterfeits. Pour out your love, tears, dreams, and fears to God, and wait for a man who loves God more than he loves you. The man who loves God most will always have love to pour into you. You know that he loves you when he seeks your best good and desires to provide for, protect, and cherish you. Wait for him; he is worth the wait.
Are you entertaining the lie that you are worthless?
Do you believe you are valuable?
Do you date whoever comes along because you are afraid you will never find love?