The day after Christmas, and the week following, usually greets me with mixed emotions. When Christmas is over and I leave my hometown, I feel heaviness on my chest and just wish the holidays could have lasted a little longer. For someone who prepares for Christmas all year, it never ceases to amaze me how quickly it passes! And then there is anticipation….
I wonder what the New Year will bring. I hope for exciting things to come our way – and to our family and friends. New Year’s Day feels like a new beginning for me and (I would imagine) for many of you. No matter what happened in this past year, we can take a deep breath and start over fresh. This must be why so many people feel compelled to make New Year’s resolutions.
That energy that comes from the newness of the year makes us feel like we can accomplish great things. And we CAN accomplish great things; but, unfortunately as the upcoming year begins to lose its newness, we tend to lose our focus on those resolutions. I would venture to say that most people have forgotten, or have given up on, their New Year’s resolutions by March.
I’m speaking from experience, because I am one of those “resolutioners.” Even if I don’t declare my resolutions to others, I think about them and I hope that I’ll stick to them. I’ll think about spending more time reading the Bible and in prayer. I’ll think about eating healthier and losing some weight. I’ll think about committing to a workout routine that will make me feel much better. I’ll even think about spending more time with people and joining more volunteer groups. However, each year, I find myself in December, making the same resolutions for the next year. Do you have a similar pattern?
So, I’ve come to a conclusion… I’m stopping New Year’s resolutions – they don’t work. If I make a resolution without a plan of action, I have already resolved to fail. Basically, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It is great that I want to spend more time reading the Bible and praying, but if I don’t have a plan on how to add them to my routine, my good intentions won’t be enough. The muscles I may be dreaming about now will never develop if I only think about exercising more. There has to be a plan – and along with that plan – a system of accountability.
We’re human and we’re weak. We like to take the easy road. The first step is to verbalize your plan of action and then write it down on paper. Make sure your action plans are SMART:
- Specific – if you can interpret the statement in multiple ways or applications, it’s not specific enough.
- Measurable – Can you tell when your action plan or action step is completed?
- Attainable – Is it possible to do?
- Realistic – Is it probable to do with your current schedule, energy level, relationships, etc.?
- Time-Based – A component that details how often the iteration is occurring.
For example: Let’s say your action plan is to lose weight. If all you put is “lose weight,” you will lose steam quickly. However, if you make it SMART, it may look like this: “My goal is to do cardio exercises for 30 minutes, six days per week, in order to lose one pound per week.” This type of goal is one that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and has a time component! Since you can measure this, it will likely keep your steam pumping (especially if you are exceeding that goal).
Under each new goal, write steps as to how you plan to complete or continue it. Ask your significant other, or family/friends that know you well, what they think of your action plans. From there, have a few people around you that are willing to keep you accountable and on track when you are tempted to fall off the wagon. We all need each other’s encouragement!
This week, on the way home from visiting my parents, Eric told me some changes he wanted to make in this upcoming year. This beginning of the year talk is not unusual. We usually discuss such things travelling home after Christmas; but, this year he gave me a small item. He told me that when I see him swaying from his new year’s plan to gently and respectfully present him with the item as a way of reminding him not to fall back into old habits. All we have to do now is put our plans on paper, exchange them with each other to make sure they are realistic, and then we’ll be ready to dive into a new year!
Make sure to take some time to share your action plan with your significant other very soon.
What resolutions are you making this year? We’d love to hear about them! We’d also love to hear about your plans for completing them/continuing them! Let’s make 2012 a year of lasting change!
Do you keep making resolutions that you don’t keep? It’s time to change the process.
Karis Seltzer says
Hi Heather,
Interesting that you are contrasting ‘resolutions’ from ‘setting goals with an action plan’. I personally don’t see those two words as inherently different. Both ‘resolutions’ and ‘goals’ should be accompanied by a specific plan of action in order to be implemented effectively.
Regarding: Accountability
Personally, I have seen very little, if any, good come out of ‘accountability’ arrangements. It seems to me that the common concept of ‘accountability’ is a very ineffective, non-substantiated methodology that is currently ‘in vogue’ in counseling circles. Do you have any evidence-based info that supports the effectiveness of this methodology?
Looking forward to a post on how things are going with this year’s resolutions (or goals, if you prefer) sometime in March or April 🙂
Best wishes for the New Year!
Karis Seltzer
Heather Viets says
Hi Karis,
The only reason I contrasted the concept of a resolution with setting goals with an action plan is because so many people, myself included, make resolutions at the beginning of the year, but never take the time to create a plan as to how they will fulfill their resolution. Ultimately, a resolution and a goal are no different as long as the goal has a step by step action plan to go along with it. Perhaps instead of saying that I'm no longer making resolutions, I should have said that I will no longer make resolutions/goals for the following year without first counting the cost and setting up a completion plan. Basically, I'm tired of making myself a failure every year. 🙂
I do see where you are coming from regarding accountability arrangements. I have been in several myself that were not helpful, mainly because we were all too afraid to confront each other to make it work. Or, people get busy and fizzle out of holding each other accountable. Recently I was involved in an exercise competition that held me accountable, simply because each lady involved had to list the amount of exercise she had done in the previous week. It worked for me because the goal mattered to me and I knew the women involved would contact me if I fell off the wagon. Unfortunately, this is one of the few accountability situations I've been in that have been beneficial. They can work, but everyone has to be committed. Not only that, but the person holding the other accountable needs a distinct, measurable list of things with which to hold their partner accountable. To answer your question regarding evidence to support the methodology of accountability, I do not have specific evidence to support it. The only evidence I have is personal. 🙂 I know that I will do more when I can expect confrontation than if no confrontation is on the horizon. Perhaps it's my personality. Eric, for instance, rarely needs accountability. If he sets his mind to something, no one but God can stop him!
Out of curiosity, have you made any resolutions this year? 😉
Eric Viets says
Karis, I do appreciate your insight. I will say that, for me, accountability works when it is mutually beneficial and not one-way.
I'm currently in a group of people that meets weekly to go over each person's goals, provide insight to each other, and spur each other on in our respective lines of goal-setting. New ideas that would not have previously hit my radar have risen. It's been valuable for me! So, it all depends on the structure of that accountability. I've been in one-on-one situations where, yes, it was not very helpful at all. But, also in one-on-one situations that were life impacting. So, again, I think the key is mutual benefit and not just one person checking up on another.
Thanks for your comment!
Eric Viets says
Karis, I do appreciate your insight. I will say that, for me, accountability works when it is mutually beneficial and not one-way.
I'm currently in a group of people that meets weekly to go over each person's goals, provide insight to each other, and spur each other on in our respective lines of goal-setting. New ideas that would not have previously hit my radar have risen. It's been valuable for me! So, it all depends on the structure of that accountability. I've been in one-on-one situations where, yes, it was not very helpful at all. But, also in one-on-one situations that were life impacting. So, again, I think the key is mutual benefit and not just one person checking up on another.
Thanks for your comment!
Karis Seltzer says
Hi again Heather, Didn’t see your response till this evening…been traveling a lot lately…..Appreciate your thoughts and discussion on the questions. I read your response on the ‘accountability’ issue, but still find it problematic….it seems to assume that one person has authority over the other – implied or assigned – otherwise how could he possibly ‘hold the other person accountable’….Also, if the person being ‘held accountable’ chooses not to follow through on his commitments, are there ‘consequences’ from the person holding him accountable????
Karis Seltzer says
Regarding resolutions for this year – ‘no’ I haven’t made any…not even one….I could describe what I am doing, but…maybe another time… 🙂
Karis Seltzer says
I do heartily agree with needing a plan of action to implement any long term change. My father used to always say: “Nothing lasting of value comes overnight.” i.e. growth, change, learning, accomplishments in any area of significance take persistence and patience…. 🙂 There’s a lot of wisdom in having that mind-set when setting out on a new course…..
Karis Seltzer says
To Eric….The scenario you describe is interesting. I would not have thought of interpreting ‘accountability’ as an exchange of ideas and sharing of progress. If that is how ‘accountability’ is interpreted and, as you so well emphasized, it is ‘mutual’ and not ‘one-sided’, I can definitely see how it could benefit.
Karis Seltzer says
To both of you – I always enjoy your posts….btw, I found a great collection of ’50 cheap date ideas’ that are really quite good on Marie Claire’s website…some would need to be modified for the Baptist circles (wine-tasting might not be so popular ;-)!) but, all in all, they’re a good resource…
Karis Seltzer says
PS: That same website had an article titled 'Bad New Years Resolutions' – also very well written…. 🙂