Sometimes it takes a touching movie, tragic news, or observing a nasty fight between a couple in public to remind me how blessed I am to have Eric. We’ve been married several years now and we are past the stage of excitement every time the other one enters the room. As the days pass, I sometimes forget that he cannot automatically know what is going on in my heart.
When I hear his car pull into the carport, I get excited. I’m so happy when he comes home from work. Yet, when he comes in the door he usually gets a smile and maybe a hug if my hands aren’t covered in whatever I happen to be cooking. Later in the evening, when I’m at one end of the house and he’s at the other, I get excited to hear his footsteps coming down the hall. I adore him, but again, I don’t usually let him know how happy I am that he is mine, that he is a good provider, and that he is walking in the calling of who God made him to be.
So, I’m preaching as much to myself now as to anyone, but the people in your life need to know how you feel about them. This is not to say that you follow them around thanking them profusely or challenging them to the ever popular (and annoying) game of “I love you more… no, I love you more…;” but, a few times a week it’s good to let the ones you love know how much you care and appreciate them.
Whether you are married, engaged, or thinking about engagement, begin a lifestyle of openness to your future spouse. When he or she does something you appreciate, let him or her know that you appreciate it. Several times a week, tell your sweetheart how much you appreciate his or her personality, humor, talents, and traits.
So, to answer the blog title question: Yes! As an interesting difference in the way God made males and females: males tend to love being appreciated for what they do (think: strength); whereas, females tend to love being appreciated for who they are (think: beauty). Don’t think this is true? Test it out. Give your those you love both types of compliments and see how each person responds. Make a recorded note of when, type, and response of each compliment for a week or two and see if you notice a trend! (Now, this isn’t to say that females don’t appreciate being praised for what they do or males for who they are, but it just doesn’t hit as close to the center of each sex’s need as much as the alternative.)
If you get in the habit of valuing your future spouse now, it will result in more happy moments in your marriage. It is hard to stay angry with someone you deeply appreciate and you tend to show more adoration than disdain for someone you are continuously praising.
Many petty arguments begin as a result of insecurity. People need to know they are loved. When we know we are loved, there isn’t much we can’t get through in life. Make a lifestyle out of showing and expressing your appreciation for the love of your life.
How do you feel when others show you appreciation? How do you like to offer and receive appreciation?
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