More than any of the other love languages, gifts speakers tend to feel the most reluctant to admit their needs. As if saying, “I need gifts from you” might make them look like gold diggers or materialistic primadonnas. I can understand that fear and I hope we dispel that myth so gift lovers everywhere will feel comfortable being open and honest with their sweethearts.
During my college years, I remember talking to a fellow student about love, marriage, and all that marriage entails. ~wink~ Though I do not recall much about the conversation, one of her statements stood out to me. She indicated that their bedroom experience might be far better if her future husband bought her gifts. Not being a gifts person myself, I was surprised (to put it mildly) by her words. It seemed like she was saying she would exchange sex for gifts, but what I really think she was saying, even if she did not realize it, was, “If he gives me gifts often, I will feel loved and be more emotionally open to sexual intimacy.”
There is no shame whatsoever in admitting that you feel most loved when someone brings you a physical symbol of his or her care. Eric bought me a teddy bear for Teddy Bear Day last September and when I look at that bear, I am reminded that he loves me and was thinking of me. For a gifts person, those gestures mean the world!
If you have a gifts person in your love life, consider these seven ways to bless him or her; and, do not fear that you will go broke in the process. Fulfilling a gifts person does not have to take mountains of money, but it does require thoughtfulness and creativity.
- Acquaint yourself with your boyfriend or girlfriend’s favorites. Favorite candy, favorite meal, favorite color, favorite store, favorite TV show, favorite band, favorite animal, favorite author, favorite ice cream – as many favorites as you can find. As you get to know him or her better, you will be armed with hundreds (yes, literally) of gift ideas. A gifts person is delighted by simple pleasures and is so much fun to surprise. You do not have to go broke to show love to a gifts person. You simply have to be thoughtful and consistent.
- Bring back souvenirs. When you travel, bring back a gift that shows you were thinking of him or her throughout your trip. If you are traveling together, buy something to remind him or her of your adventures. It is a physical manifestation of your feelings for him or her. Something your boyfriend or girlfriend can touch and cherish over time.
- Create a scrapbook commemorating your relationship. This is similar to the diary I suggested writing for words of affirmation speakers. What makes this one different is it includes small, physical reminders of your love – ticket stubs, pictures of you together, and beautiful pages you took the time to decorate.
- Give attractive gifts. Instead of throwing a few candy bars in a paper bag and handing them to your partner, tie them in pretty ribbon or place them in an appealing bag. If not necessarily beautiful, at least thoughtful (e.g., in a Star Wars gift bag for the Wookie enthusiast, wrapped in his or her favorite color, etc.). Presentation often matters to a gifts person. Two of my dearest friends are gifts people, and they not only give well thought-out gifts, but they wrap them beautifully. The presentation is part of the gift to them. (They are also big on picking beautiful, thoughtful cards.)
- Gift bomb. There is a school of thought that says one rose just because is worth two dozen roses on Valentine’s Day. It is so true. There is great fun in exchanging gifts for holidays, but for a gifts person, it is always a good time to give and receive a gift! Leave surprises where you know he or she will find them. Give special gifts wrapped in a special evening. Plan a few small surprises throughout the week or month. Send gifts at random to his or her house. Make it your mission to keep your sweetie’s gift bucket full.
- Instead of nagging him or her to get rid of stuff, help organize his or her treasures. Just as it is hard for a time person to give up a day of togetherness, or for a words of affirmation person to go a week without hearing “I love you,” it can be gut-wrenching for a gifts person to throw away symbols of love – even if they seem worthless to the world. Instead of prodding him or her to get rid of the “clutter,” help your significant other create an easy access storage system. Also encourage him or her to keep three meaningful pieces out on display.
- Be gracious in receiving. Is. A. Big. Deal. Those who love to receive gifts often love to give as well. They get such a rush out of making their loved ones’ days. Tossing the gift to one side, saying a lackluster “thanks,” or questioning them on why they decided to give you a gift can be heartbreaking for gifts people. Rejecting their gift is rejecting them. It is like refusing to hug a touch person or refusing to spend time with a time person. Not receiving a gift is like putting up a wall between you and the giver. Your reaction to the gifts you receive from your sweetie will probably mean as much to him or her as the gifts you give.
If you are a gifts person, do not be ashamed. We all have needs. Some are more socially sanctioned than others. Strongly desiring physical manifestations of your boyfriend or girlfriend’s love is quite normal and good. Try not to be afraid to express this need in a meek and tender way. Never demanding.
If you are dating a gifts person, you are most likely also dating a giving person. That is something special! It is a blessing to have someone in your life who pays attention to you and tries to give you what you most desire.
Take note of these ideas and continue the list by brainstorming more ways you can specifically bless your gifts person. It is amazing how giving your boyfriend or girlfriend small gifts can affect every area of his or her life!
Would your sweetheart be tremendously blessed by more tangible reminders of your love?