In Monday’s post, I talked about the power of a woman’s attitude and how it sets the tone for the home; but, perhaps I let the gentlemen off the hook too easily. ~smile~ While it is true that living with a cantankerous woman is completely miserable (Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, and 25:24), living with a complaining man is not all that much fun either. Not that Eric ever complains…
Okay, maybe he does occasionally complain. ~smile~ After I started working from home, my stress level greatly reduced. Finally, Eric was able to talk about the stressors in his life since I had finally shut up. ~smile~ And honestly, it did not bother me. As a woman, I solve problems by talking them out, so I am used to listening to my friends verbally explore their problems. However, my constant barrage of complaints added stress to Eric because, as the manly problem solver he is, he translated my “talking it out” method to “here is a truck load more of problems for you to solve, Honey!”
A Bold Decision
A few months ago, Eric made a choice. He decided he was going to stop complaining at work. He has a great team of guys, and it is so easy to spit out a complaint when you have an audience – especially an audience that “gets” it. Eric enjoys his work, but as with every job, there are stressors that pop up here and there.
In an attempt to positively influence his work team, he willed within himself to stop complaining about frustrating odds and ins. Eric is excellent at deciding something and sticking to it. He once drank nothing but homemade fruit and veggie juice (with handfuls of almonds and small pieces of 99% dark chocolate) for sixty days. The man can keep a commitment to himself! It almost makes me wish I was intrinsically motivated!
Though I’m sure he has not been 100% perfect, I know he has been making a valiant effort to keep a good attitude at work – and it is making a difference. By not focusing on the negative, he is in better spirits, and (he can correct me if I’m wrong) is experiencing fewer problems now that he is refusing to highlight them! Way to go, Eric!
The Work Decision that Changed our Home
What do I love most about Eric’s change of attitude? He comes home in a better mood! When he doesn’t dwell on problems all day, he comes home with a lighter heart and it spills over into our home life.
When we think of every situation that is not going our way, dwell on perceived injustices, and then share our frustrations with others, negative energy gets buried down deep in us. It is like ingesting poison and having it slowly shut down our vital organs. We start out annoyed; but, after we chew, swallow, and digest pessimism, its poisonous effects start showing on our faces and in our body language.
If you choose to be content, find the good in your circumstances, and accentuate the positive, not only will you feel better, but your attitude will spill over into those around you. There are people who inspire us to be negative, and people who inspire us to be positive. I am a recovering pessimist! ~smile~ How about you?
Women Set the Temperature (Tone) of the Home, but Men Tamper with the Thermostat
Though women set the emotional temperature of the home (e.g., 47 degrees, chilly, and unpleasant, or 71 degrees, warm, and inviting, etc.), men can tamper with the thermostat. If Sally has gone to great lengths to provide a warm and inviting home for Tom, but Tom comes stomping in the house with steam shooting from his ears, Sally will be influenced by his attitude. If Tom goes into the bedroom, calms down, and then comes out, the temperature of the home probably won’t change much. However, if Tom comes in yelling, complaining, and taking his frustrations out on Sally, the temperature will change. She may become sad and retreat or she may become angry and fire right back at him. Either way, the serene atmosphere is lost.
Goal:
Ladies, when you marry, make it your goal to set a kind, inviting tone for your home. Take measures (prayer, deep breathing, re-scheduling tasks, etc.) to create an atmosphere of peace.
Gentlemen, when you marry, remember that a woman’s heart is typically more tender than a man’s. Make it your goal to interact with her in a kind and loving way. Praying on the way home from work is a great habit to start.
Men and women alike can clear a lot of debris away from their day by spending time with their Heavenly Father on their homebound commutes!
It is so much easier to connect with someone who is filled with sunshine rather than thunder. Thirty years after your wedding day, you probably won’t remember each horrible day you had at work, or all the unfair treatment you’ve received; but, you will know if your marriage has been a peaceful one or a tumultuous one.
Is complaining your default setting? If so, take steps to accentuate the positive this week and see if it does not improve your mood and your relationships! ~smile~