Couples won’t see eye-to-eye on everything – it’s a fact. However, there are some core issues on which couples should agree if they hope to share a functional and harmonious life together. Some disagreements can cause reoccurring arguments which weaken a couple’s connection.
Consider the following topics:
- Geography. Most people have definite opinions about where they would like to live. Before getting engaged, discuss your desires and expectations on this front. If one of you plans to live in Florida, and the other wants to move home to Canada, life could get tricky. It is also good to know if the other is willing to move should God open doors in other locations. We never can tell where God may eventually lead us.
- Political Leanings. Some folks could not care less about politics while others find it central to their lives; but, you don’t have to be addicted to a news channel to have political opinions. How a person votes says a lot about his or her core beliefs. If you consider yourself to be progressive, and your sweetie is staunchly conservative, you can expect conflicts to arise even if politics and voting never come up in conversation! Our political leanings are a reflection of our ideals, our character, and our core beliefs.
- Health Habits. How do you both feel about preventing the spread of germs? If one of you is hyper-vigilant and the other is reckless, expect some lively discussions to erupt. ~smile~ How do you both feel about the importance of daily exercise? If one of you runs an hour a day and the other considers getting out of bed a strenuous workout, there will likely be tension. How do you both feel about the types of food you eat? If one of you is a vegetarian and the other is a carnivore, dinner time might be a disaster. Or, if one of you likes to eat clean, organic foods, and the other loves junk food, I foresee some reoccurring conflicts – especially after children enter the scene. You and your sweetie probably won’t have the exact same feelings about health and wellness, but if you have opposing views, your relationship will be affected. After all, we eat, encounter germs, and are affected by our health status every single day.
- The Importance of Family – How do you both feel about your families of origin? Are you close to your families, or are you hoping to distance yourself from them after you get married? How much time do you expect to spend with your families once you tie the knot? How involved will you allow your families to be in your decisions before and after marriage? When you get married you will get a spouse and an entirely new family wing! In-laws can be a blessing, but if you and your honey have different expectations about the role they will play in your lives, fur will fly. Discuss how much time you both want to devote to your families, if the time will be equally shared between your families, and how involved you want them to be in your daily lives. Extremely differing views on the role and importance of family can be a legitimate deal-breaker. If your sweetie’s outlook on familial relationships clashes with yours, talk it out and try to get to the bottom of why you each view your families the way you do.
We will continue on Wednesday with four additional topics couples should agree on before getting engaged! Take some time between now and then and discuss geography, political leanings, health habits, and the importance of family with your sweetie. Where do you stand on these topics? Before talking to your boyfriend or girlfriend, be sure you have carefully thought out your opinions on each subject.
And remember… all talks like this are better over coffee or ice cream. Just a thought! ~smile~
Do you and your sweetie generally tend to agree or disagree with each other?