It is a well-established fact that I get crazy-excited about discussing personality types and how they interact together. I was all set to leave church yesterday afternoon after visiting with some ladies when somebody brought up her Myers-Briggs Temperament Indicator (MBTI) score. So much for leaving!
I plopped back down in a chair and was sad when one of the kids interrupted us and got us off the subject. I honestly think I could discuss it for hours without getting tired of it. I am fascinated with why people are the way they are… always have been!
Personality differences can cause joy and hardships in relationships because we react to the world based on our nature and how we were taught to interact in various situations. My immediate family was small. We did not have much company over; but, when we did we went on a pre-party cleaning spree and then tried to make the evening pleasant for the few people we invited.
My college roommate, on the other hand, had a different approach to company. She thought, “The more the merrier!!!” Her family was (and is) a hoot! What was one more person in the pile? No big deal to her!
The world needs all kinds of personalities and God in His wisdom created us differently. How boring would it be if we were all the same? I literally just yawned. (Perhaps you are now yawning too!)
The fun begins when two distinct personalities stand before a crowd of witnesses and proclaim their undying devotion to each other in matrimony.
So, for an exercise, below are a handful of scenarios. Over coffee or dinner, pull up the list and ask these questions to your sweetie and then answer them yourself. See how your answers differ. See how your answers are similar. Take note of his or her reactions. Some of these scenarios might just happen after you get married…!
- What if… you get a phone call from your college buddy. He’s in town with his wife and four kids and he was wondering if they could crash with you guys… tonight?
- What if… you are on the playground with your four-year-old and another kid comes up and sneezes in her face?
- What if… you are running late for a job interview and your car won’t start?
- What if… your mother-in-law’s house was foreclosed on and she asked to live with you guys for some time while she gets on her feet?
- What if… your Sunday School teacher wakes up on a Sunday morning with a fever and asks you and your spouse to teach the class that morning?
- What if… you show up to a dinner at your co-worker’s house and everyone is dressed up except for you and your spouse?
- What if… your spouse’s friend called your house every night at 11pm with a new “crisis?”
- What if… your friend calls you at the last minute and asks you and your spouse to keep her puppy for a week?
- What if… you are both invited to a huge block party?
- What if… your spouse forgot to pick up your kids at school?
- What if… your spouse screamed at you in a public place?
- What if… your child threw a temper tantrum in Wal-mart and broke something?
- What if… your spouse called you ten minutes before leaving work and said, “By the way, I have some friends coming over tonight for dinner.”?
- What if… your spouse said he or she wanted you both to go on a sixty day all fruit and vegetable diet… and he or she had documented proof of the vast health benefits?
- What if… your spouse desperately wanted to leave a church you loved?
- What if… your spouse wanted to buy a brand new SUV (sticker price over $27k)?
- What if… your spouse’s grandparent died and left a $20,000 inheritance for each grandchild, but your spouse wanted to give his or her $20,000 to another family member?
- What if… your spouse spills two large drinks in your lap at Wendy’s?
- What if… your spouse brings home a puppy (or some other pet)?
- What if… your spouse decides to quit his or her job without talking it over with you?
- What if… your spouse threw you a surprise birthday party?
- What if… you found that your spouse had been making expensive purchases and not telling you about them?
- What if… you went out with friends for the evening and you came home to find crayon scribbled all over your walls? (and what if the other parent was “watching” the kids? ~ smile~)
- What if… your spouse rips your front fender completely out while pulling the car out of the carport?
- What if… your spouse accidentally sets the kitchen on fire?
Not all of them apply, but let’s just say that we’ve had a good amount of “fun” with some scenarios above. ~smile~ What would you do?
What other “what if” scenarios can you think of to talk over with your future spouse?