- “Love is a cognitive, willful act. Feelings have very little to do with it, particularly around three o’clock in the morning when the baby needs changing or somebody has ‘lost it’ before getting to the bathroom to throw up.” – Kevin Leman, Smart Women Know When to Say No
It may not seem romantic to consider that your future spouse’s love for you will not always be romantic. Sometimes you will feel very little for each other at a given moment; and during those moments, you choose to remain committed to your promise. Keep demonstrating love to the other person and those romantic feelings for him or her will resurface.
- “Happiness in marriage has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with will.” – Les and Leslie Parrott
Those couples who make it fifty years are not still together because of fate or luck. They are still in love because they decided to keep plugging along, even in the tough times. Ultimately, when life told them they were not in love anymore, they told life to get lost, and they kept right on choosing to love.
- “The mark of a spiritual man or woman is a listening heart, not a lecturing tongue.” – Gary L. Thomas, Thirsting for God
This one hits home for me! All too often I have tried to force my opinion down Eric’s throat instead of first seeking to hear him. If I would listen first, I wouldn’t “need” to give 95% of the lectures.
- “Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.” – James Dobson
I’ve always loved and appreciated this quote. I first heard it in college and it has stuck with me ever since. If you are dating someone and thinking, “I could probably stand to be married to this person,” he or she is probably not the one for you – unless you grow to love this person in such a way that you never want to live without him or her. While Eric and I were just friends, and before we became a couple, I knew I did not want to live life without him.
- “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” – Martin Luther
It would break my heart if Eric stayed late at work to avoid coming home to me or if I made our home environment so emotionally toxic that he felt the need to stay away as long as possible. I want to be a woman who creates a relaxing aroma Eric can enjoy after he has faced the troubles of the world all day. And, I hope the day never comes when I am desperate for him to leave for work. ~smile~
- “Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”– Zig Ziglar
“Heather, we are on the same team!” I can’t tell you how many times Eric has recited this to me over the years. Under some illusion that I was supposed to be as smart and talented (if not more smart and talented) as my husband, I made so much of our early marriage a competition between us. I wanted to feel like I deserved such an intelligent man. He was right – we are a team. As long as I treat him as my adversary or competitor, we will never prosper; but, in treating him as my beloved teammate, we can take on the world!
- “The problem with guilt is that it cements you to the past.” – Kevin Leman, It’s Your Kid, Not a Gerbil
Guilt is binding and unhelpful. It keeps us so tied to the past that we cannot look forward to the future or live in the present. Dwelling on past mistakes benefits us nothing. Once we have repented, holding onto guilt is almost like saying “Christ’s sacrifice was not enough. I still have my own debt to pay.” Guilt can weigh down a relationship and even lead to suspicion of the other person.
- “Digging your heels in does not mean you won’t have to do it. It just means you’ll be that much more tired when you finally do.” – Heather Viets
I’ve put up many fights in my time as a wife. I have even thrown a few tantrums. Eric wants us to grow and help other couples, but sometimes growth hurts and helping others requires being seen. Many of his ideas and desired paths have scared me, and I have pressed my heels into the ground as hard as I could – sometimes saying “no,” sometimes crying, sometimes arguing, and sometimes ignoring him and hoping he would forget. The revelation I have come to after many years of pushing against him is this: If it is important to him, more than likely, I will eventually consent. All my inner-tantrums do is wear me out emotionally. If I truly do not like an idea, or think it unwise, I need to calmly express those concerns. Otherwise, I would do better to prayerfully consider his plans, and say “yes” cheerfully rather than “no” ignorantly and forcefully.
Every now and then, I enjoy the challenge of a short and sweet quote. Novels are so full of words. They are good, but they can overwhelm me. I would rather take one small truth and let it sink in than cram thousands of words into my mind and remember none of them. ~smile~ (Just the way I am built!)
Books are good and reading is great; but, quotes are power-packed, pithy pellets of wisdom! ~smile~
What is your favorite quote and how has it changed your life?