When I was planning my wedding, someone told me that once the wedding day came, the little details we brides all worry about would not seem as important. Once you are getting your hair and makeup done and it hits you, “I’m getting married today!” how many Hershey kisses are on each reception table just does not matter so much.
The week of my wedding, I met my brother-in-law and his family and my husband’s best friend from California. I drove to North Carolina to get last minute details situated (or to do what my godmother directed me to do as I was a bit clueless ~smile~). I made one of my bridesmaids cry and I cried myself. There was a lot of “new” going on and a lot of “hurry up!” Not to mention the fact that I knew my life was about to change forever. I was excited to get married, but I think I was over the “wedding” itself. I just wanted to get the show on the road!
A lot of brides get to that point. Okay! Enough! Can we just elope?!
Take a Deep Breath
So, the day is drawing near. You feel like you have a hundred loose ends to tie up. You can feel the stress getting to you. You’re a bride on the edge!
Buy some chocolate. Go to a quiet place. Breathe deeply – in through your nose and out through your mouth… slowly. Savor the chocolate. Calm down. Remember that life will go on no matter what detail you forget (and you probably won’t forget any of the important details anyway).
If the stress is really getting to you, you may even want to spend one night away by yourself to relax, pray, regroup, and rejuvenate for that last push before the big day. If you don’t go away alone, consider a spa day, or at the very least, a manicure/pedicure.
And, if you have too many people coming at you with crises or bombarding you with decisions that need to be made, it is okay to calmly say, “I need a minute” and then walk away. This is especially true for introverts like me. If I had not allowed the event to get to me the way it did, I probably would not have snapped at my bridesmaid. If you need to cry, my friend, go somewhere and let it out! Weddings represent a big life change and sometimes we need to let off steam. Just do it before you make someone else cry. ~smile~
Let People Help You
This is easier said than done for the brides (and in some cases, grooms) who want everything to go perfectly. ~wink~ A few weeks ago, I did a small job helping out in a wedding reception and I was happy to do it! It was my pleasure to do something to help the bride and groom. There is something about weddings that make people feel very generous! If people offer to help you, take them up on it (unless there are good reasons not to). Or, better yet, direct them to your wedding planner (or director) and let her find a place they can serve.
The ladies at my home church were awesome. We asked them to bring a dish of some kind to our reception, and they did! We had a “four seasons” themed wedding with four buffet tables all covered with foods that represented each season (i.e., a summer table with summer foods, a winter table with winter foods, etc.) and almost all of it was donated by the precious Ladies Ministries. My uncle made a turkey. A friend grilled delectable chicken with his secret sauce. My friends pitched in and helped prepare the reception hall and my godmother even put up a Christmas tree for us – in June! (I barely have the patience to help put one up at Christmas).
People were very generous of their time and service for us. Let your friends and family help you too. Don’t carry it all on your shoulders. Weddings are community events. ~smile~
Keep It Simple When Possible
This goes back to the planning stage. When there is a simple alternative, consider taking it. This is not to promote laziness. It is to promote freedom from unnecessary stress. Decide how important decorations are to you and, if they are not that important, minimize them. Save time and money. If you don’t want to plan a reception seating chart, don’t. Let the guests decide where they will sit. If keeping with tradition is not working for you, go your own way. Keep it simple.
Focus on the Big Picture and HAVE FUN
You’re getting married! You will notice subtle “mistakes” far more than your guests will. So, put on your party face, look forward to your day in the spotlight, and let the lesser concerns melt away. The guests that matter are going to care more about you enjoying your wedding than any minute detail which is out of place.
At the end of the day, you will be married. That is what matters most. So often, I look back on events and say, “I wish I had not wasted so much time and energy stressing about that!”
Enjoy your special day. Savor it – and all the time leading up to it. Spend the time connecting with your loved ones and friends. You’ll be glad you did. ~smile~
Is there a newlywed bride in your life who can help calm your nerves and assure you that everything will be alright?