Is it merely love – or deep connections with others that we seek? After all, we can love others without even knowing them. When a family chooses to send money to Compassion International each month so a child can have a better future, they are giving love (assuming they do it with proper motives); but, there is only a slim chance that those children will ever meet their sponsors in person. Is giving money to someone out of love enough to feed their soul?
No. Those kids need to be hugged, read to, sung to, played with, and cherished. My desire for all the kids of the world would be a full tummy, a loving home, and a relationship with Christ. We should give so they can have food, clean water, and education, but we should also pray that God sends loving people to nourish their souls as well. ~smile~ (… and maybe even be one of those soul-nourishers….)
You Don’t Need a Boyfriend!
I should call mom today and ask her to say that to me, just for old time’s sake. ~smile~ As a thirteen-year-old, she was right. I did not need a boyfriend. What I was seeking was connection, but I did not realize it. Don’t get me wrong. I came from a good home. My parents loved me and I always knew it, yet I seemed to long for a boy’s attention. And it didn’t matter how many people told me I didn’t need a boyfriend, something inside me still longed for sweet talk and a fairytale love story. Perhaps Disney is to blame. ~smile~
At the time, I would have combatted Mom’s statement with something like, “No, I don’t need a boyfriend, but I like him!”
But God, What if I Never Have Another Chance?
It is amusing, and embarrassing, when I think back on my teenage fears. Here I am, sixteen and single! What if I never find a husband? Let’s all take a minute and laugh. It is amusing to think about now, but the idea of being single at that age was terrifying.
So many times, it was clear that the Holy Spirit was saying, “Let him go!” Deep down, I wanted to trust God; but, what if He was going to keep me single forever? So I held on, and on, and on because I did not want to lose the emotional connection I thought I had with whomever I was dating at the time.
Connections that Matter
Looking back, it is so clear that God was trying to spare me pain – and probably them too! He knew what was coming. He had it all under control. Even if He had destined me for a life of singleness, it still would have been good as long as I had Him!
I have often reflected on those days and how anxious I was about relationships. If I was not in one, I was looking around for single guys (even if I did not advertise the fact). When I was in a relationship, I was almost always struggling with inner turmoil. What I wanted was connection. I wanted a deep, close, intimate connection with a man who would make me feel unique and deeply appreciated. That does not make me weird, it makes me a woman. Perhaps I was just six or seven years ahead of schedule. ~smile~
My immature attempts to connect were actually counterproductive. The closer I would get to a guy, the farther I would drift from my mom and my friends. The connection I thought I was gaining was coming at the expense of my truly important relationships. And, when I continued in a relationship that did not honor God, my connection with God suffered greatly. In fact, the more “connected” I became to the boyfriend, the less connected I was to God.
I sincerely regret the time I spent fretting over the future. I could have been spending that time connecting with the Lord, my parents, my friends, and neighbors. My anxiety and determination to go after what I thought would make me happy robbed me of some precious times.
If you are dating someone you know you should not be dating, I have been there. The idea of breaking up is scary. The thought of being completely alone is frightening. But, if you obey the still small voice that’s telling you to let go, you won’t be alone. If God is drawing you away from him (or her), is He not drawing you to Himself? There is no safer feeling in the world than being in God’s will and resting in His arms. And there is no greater connection in the world than the one you can have with your Lord and Savior. No boyfriend or girlfriend can ever come close.
Are you looking for connection in all the wrong places?