For the past couple of weeks, I have been sick with a super annoying cold. Though it hasn’t knocked me completely off my feet, it has worn me out significantly. I get up late, eat, and after I eat, I’m too tired to do anything but go back to sleep. Somewhere around 5pm I have a three hour window to get something done before I’m exhausted again. Several times I’ve thought “I just want to feel good again!” Lying in bed today, staring at the window (closed with the shade down), I wondered when I would once again feel normal.
When you’re going through a rough patch it’s easy to forget that the sun always comes out after a storm. It may not come out immediately, but it does come back out. Life is a pattern of hill tops and valleys, sunshine and storms, and ups and downs in your relationships.
As I was lying in bed feeling sorry for myself, I remembered the fact that I have had dozens of colds in my life – and every time… I got well. Just knowing that I would feel good again was enough to get me through another aggravating day of coughing, blowing my nose, and applying Vicks VapoRub.
Something good about spending all day in bed is all the time you have to think. As I was reminding myself of all the colds I went through successfully, I thought about all the difficult times early in my relationship with Eric. In the beginning, every argument seemed like the end of the world. About a month before we got married, I got angry with him about something and I wondered if we should postpone the wedding. Little did I realize that we would have a thousand disagreements in our life together, and after a while, they just wouldn’t seem so scary. As we worked through each disagreement successfully, and because of my drive for harmony, I felt more able to achieve resolution. Now when we disagree or argue, I remember all the arguments we resolved in the past and I am comforted to know that the sun will come out soon enough.
Maybe you are in a fairly young relationship and you feel overwhelmed and afraid every time you and your sweetheart don’t see eye to eye on something. Let me assure you that disagreements are a normal part of dating and marriage. Even the most compatible couples don’t agree about everything. They may work matters out differently (e.g., not discuss grievances in front of others), but every couple disagrees at various points. If you and your sweetheart have an argument, give it some time and then calmly work through it together. It is not the end of the world and the sun will shine again – I promise. ~smile~
If you are dating someone who seems to thrive on disagreement or drags fights out and makes them worse, you may want to consider taking a step back in the relationship. Take a little time away from each other and seek counseling if needed; but, don’t continue in a relationship with someone who fights just for the sake of fighting. Marrying someone like this is a plan to have many stormy days and nights. No matter how much you love him or her, it is not wise to marry someone who fights for fun.
If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend have recently had a quarrel and you sense an emotional wall between you two, then chin up. It is likely that you guys will be back in fellowship soon enough. It takes a little time, sometimes.
How have you and your boyfriend/girlfriend resolved disagreements in the past?
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