It is Christmas morning! Who is the most excited person in the house? Nope, not one of the children! It is the gift-giver extraordinaire! This is the one person who not only loves receiving gifts, large and small, but also spends countless hours poring over gift ideas and trying to find the perfect present for everyone he or she loves. This is the man who spends far more than he technically should on the antique dresser his lady friend drooled over last July. This is the woman who could not stop herself from buying the outrageously impractical, but beautiful earring and necklace set for her mother because she knew it would make her cry happy tears!
To a Gifts-speaker, a gift is a physical reminder that he or she was on your mind and that the person cared enough to get it for the other person. That magnet you bring home from your business trip in Orlando may seem like a small gesture to you, but it says, “Even though I was not with you, you were on my mind” to your gift-loving sweetheart.
Maybe you are concerned that you will go broke trying to show love to your significant other, but let me put your mind at ease: if your boyfriend or girlfriend speaks the love language of Gifts, you will not have to spend a lot of money to show that you care. He or she is not interested in your breaking the bank or spending beyond your means (and if he or she is, that is not tied to the love language of Gifts and is a red flag you need to address). What your honey is looking for is intentionality… proof that he or she is on your mind and worth the time it takes to pick out a nice card, buy a cup of his favorite coffee, or find that teddy bear that sings her favorite song.
Recommendations for Showing Love to Someone through Gift-Giving
Make Any Day a Holiday
There is no need to wait for a formal holiday to give gifts to your honey. Use the “national” holidays. For instance: today, August 14th, is National Creamsicle Day. August 17th will be National Thrift Shop Day. Or, take October 2nd (Eric’s birthday) which is Name Your Car Day (which is appropriate since he likes doing that! – who knew!?!)
Or, perhaps you can make your own holiday with your sweetheart! Choose a day and make it a holiday. Plan out its name and if it’s publicly or privately celebrated. Are any specific foods involved? Are activities involved? Have fun with it!
Gift-lovers are happy with spontaneous gifts and if you want to make them especially excited, have a gift delivered to their jobs! This is a big-time winner because it not only took effort to buy it, but you had to arrange for it to be delivered as well. Additionally, he or she will often beam with pride and show it to their friends to show others how much you love him or her. You will earn some serious points for this one!
Always Be on the Lookout for Small Gifts
Notice what he or she likes. What kind of gum does she always buy? What is his favorite cookie? Where does she always shop for shoes? What store does he always wander into in the mall? By paying attention to his or her likes and dislikes, you can keep a constant stream of small, thoughtful gifts coming. For a Gifts person, her favorite gum or his favorite candy bar is a bona fide gift. “Thank you so much for thinking of me and noticing what I like. You must love me!”
Never Return from a Trip Without a Souvenir
Find something fun on all your travels and make a point to always bring a small gift back for your honey. It does not need to be big and flashy. It just needs to be a physical reminder of an emotional truth – you love him / you love her. Even if you drive two towns over to pick up a TV you bought on Craigslist, swing in somewhere and buy a small item that reminds them: “You are always with me.” Again, it does not have to be big or expensive; it just has to come from the heart.
Make Sure Christmas, Birthdays, and Anniversaries are a GIANT DEAL
Never, never, never skimp on a birthday for a Gifts person. Please, whatever you do, make birthdays as sacred as possible. After all, your gift-loving honey loves holidays devoted to giving and receiving gifts. Chances are he or she will make a big deal out of your birthdays, so be sure to do the same in return.
Anniversaries are also a special moment for a couple. For a gift-giver, make sure to celebrate it with a physical reminder of your love for her. Eric and I, though not having the love language of Gifts, have throughout the years followed the traditional anniversary gifts track: first year is paper, second year is cotton, third year is leather, etc. Do something similar for your Gifts-loving person. He or she will really appreciate the sentimentality it creates over the years as the tradition is upheld.
Additionally, make sure Christmas is done right, too. Even if you have to cut back financially and get really creative, try to make sure you give your gift lover something special and heartfelt on Christmas morning (and some of the most meaningful gifts can be made, not bought – created from the heart). And if he or she cannot wait until after breakfast to open gifts, humor him or her. After all, your sweetheart is just as excited (if not more so) about giving you a gift as he or she is about receiving one.
Give Gifts When your Sweetheart is Insecure
Did you have a fight and your girlfriend is wondering where she stands? Bring her a small, loving gift when you seek reconciliation. This is not an attempt to buy her off. In fact, don’t even show her the gift until after you have talked through the issue and reconciled. Giving her the gift after will show her that you not only wanted to reconcile, but that even before you made up you still wanted to make her happy. It is a good move, fellas!
Has your man had a string of disappointments lately? Has his self-confidence been rattled? Encourage him with a gift. If he has a favorite quote, find it or have it engraved on a plague and bring it to him. Is his music collection missing one key album? See if you can find it and give it to him as a pick me up. Sometimes we cannot take our loved ones’ difficult circumstances away, but we can find ways to love and support them through it.
Do Not Get Lazy with your Gift Giving
If you bring home flowers every Friday to your lady with no enthusiasm, she will likely not feel loved through it. In fact, it will be counterproductive. If you bring him a new tool every time you go to the mall and you fling it on the counter and say, “Here, this is for you” he may like the tool but feel no love radiating from your good deed. Remember that it is not only about the physical item, but about the excitement you have in giving it. If your giving becomes obviously routine or joyless, your sweetie would likely much rather you forget the gift. If there is a Gifts person in your relationship (you or the other person), make sure to discuss this dynamic with each other.
Learn to Love Giving
Giving gifts just does not come naturally to some people; in fact, is stresses some people out. Instead of enjoying the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, they despise the crowds and hate the pressure of finding the perfect gift. If they could have it their way, Christmas would no longer include the exchanging of gifts.
If you do not enjoy buying gifts, or it does not occur to you to buy gifts, ask for help. ~smile~ Be proactive and ask your sweetheart what lights up her day. Ask your man what surprises he enjoys. Then, make yourself notes to plan those surprises. Put a memo on your phone. Microsoft Outlook (or other digital calendar) is a great place to set up reminders. Pick several random days and put “surprise gift” on your calendar. After you do it for a while, it will get easier. Before long you will be thinking about your sweetheart when you are at the grocery store, the mall, or a random shop, and you will become quite adept at finding small gifts for your honey wherever you go. A steady flow of thoughtful gifts will keep love gushing into your gift lover’s love tank!
What gift ideas do you have for your special someone?