There he is. He walks into the room and heads turn. He smiles. His chin is up. He looks his lunch companion in the eye and shakes his hand. He is working that suit and you do not know what he is selling, but you are ready to buy.
Look at her. She knows she is a catch. When you look her in the eye, she does not look away. She is gracious, but not fawning. She could take you or leave you. ~smile~ She has a life and it shows. She will not slow down unless she has a good reason. Something about her complete lack of desperation makes her seem completely irresistible.
Confidence is Incredibly Attractive
We are drawn to people who believe in themselves. Arrogance is a turn off, but confidence is not synonymous with thinking too much of oneself. Confident people are simply happy with where they are in life and believe they are capable of reaching their goals.
If you are interested in a relationship, but you always seem to be on the outside looking in, I would encourage you to examine your confidence. When you go out in public, do you look down? Do your eyes dart away when someone makes eye contact with you? Do you downplay accomplishments when someone compliments you?
If so, take strides to improve your confidence level. Make and reach some goals. Teach yourself to walk and interact confidently with others. Read books and watch videos if you need to. ~smile~ Improving how you feel about yourself will change how you interact with others – and will likely change how others see you.
Do not fake confidence; rather, build it.
Eric was a confident man when we met and that drove me crazy… in a good way. ~smile~
- Confidence inspires feelings of safety in a partner. Speaking as one who has an extremely confident spouse, I take such comfort in his optimistic view of the future and his self-assurance. He believes he is smart enough, talented enough, and good enough to provide, protect, and lead me well.
- Confident people do not base their success on other people. A confident person, though he or she may appreciate encouragement, does not pin his or her successes or failures on others. The blame game is completely unattractive. Knowing Eric’s success in life did not depend on me attracted me to him all the more. If we had gone our separate ways before marrying, he would have been sad; but, he would have moved on because his hopes and dreams were not built on the success of our relationship – rather, it was his drive, passion, and goals.
- Confident people do not cling to relationships for self-worth. There is a difference between “I cannot get enough of you because you are so great!” and “Please do not leave me! I do not know who I am without you!” One is (mostly) fun and the other is exhausting. Clinginess is never attractive. Insecure people may be drawn to clingy people, but they seldom have the same respect for them as they do for that confident man or woman who is “out of their reach.”
- Composure is alluring. Ladies, which man do you find more desirable? The one who is yelling and beating his chest in a “manly” attempt to engage in physical conflict? Or, the one who remains calm, responds with little emotion, and does not swing until he is attacked (and then crushes the other guy)? I think it is safe to say most women want a man who remains in control until circumstances force his hand. Gentlemen, which lady would you rather date? The one who is making a scene in the middle of Walmart or the one who is calmly walking away from the pointless altercation? I think most guys prefer a gentle woman who is in control of her emotions, but does not back down from a necessary Am I correct? We are attracted to people who are cool and level-headed. They have their wits about them and can take care of business, unlike the hot-headed screamers of the world.
- Confident people are seldom down in the dumps. We love spending time with people who encourage us, make us feel alive, and pour cheeriness into our hearts. Some confident people live to encourage their friends and family, while others are more straight-forward in their relationships; however, regardless of their personalities, it is more pleasant to be around confident people than downers. Confident people do not show up to the office moaning and groaning about how life is not fair, how no one likes them, and how nothing is going right in their lives. We love being around positive people!
Do You Want to Spend Time with Yourself?
Would you want to be friends with you? Meaning, would you want to hang out with a person who has your qualities and characteristics? If the answer is no, work on becoming the kind of person you would find interesting and attractive. If you are floating through life in a bubble of despair, you are probably pumping lies into your mind hand over fist. “I am no good. No one would want me. I am not attractive enough. I am not smart enough. I am not successful enough. I will be lucky if anyone gives me a second glance.” If you believe these lies, you are surely radiating a negative spirit onto others.
When you start feeding yourself the truth, you will eventually begin to believe it. “I am a nice person. I have a lot to offer a mate. I have some successes under my belt. I am capable of reaching my goals.” The more you drip truth into your mind, the more your face will reflect a newfound confidence.
We do not let go of our faulty beliefs in a day. It takes some time. Start actively filling your mind with the truth and learn to look the world square in the face. You were fearfully and wonderfully made – now act like it! ~smile~
Is a lack of confidence keeping you from meeting new people?