Dating is an important part of relationships, both before and after marriage. Couples need to have some fun together. Just as we all need a vacation from work to recharge, couples need a vacation from the tough parts of marriage (finances, raising children, keeping a home up, resolving reoccurring conflicts, etc.) to recharge and reconnect.
While you are still in the dating phase of your relationship, create a quality date habit that you can bring with you into your future marriage. What do I mean by quality date? Quality dating is when you look past the obvious (dinner and a movie), avoid ruts, and make your dates count for something more than just filling time together.
One terrific quality date is a date where you and your sweetie face fears together. Snake handling may not sound like fun at first, but if you both share a fear of snakes, what better bonding experience could you have than kicking that fear in the face together?! Find someone with a pet snake, and let the fear squashing begin. Yes, the idea is freaking me out as I write this, so it sounds like I need to find someone with a pet snake as well! ~gulp~
The Great Terror of 2014
A few months ago, I faced a fear with Eric… we danced in public. If you knew me personally, you would know that one of my biggest fears in the world is public dancing. I sit at wedding receptions and smile as uninhibited people jump on the dance floor and show off their skills; but, behind my smile is someone who wishes she could jump in and join them. Still, no matter how much fun they seem to be having, the terror I feel is so strong that I sit back and watch.
But, at this particular wedding, they asked all the married couples to go out on the dance floor and dance (you know, that “fun” game where the couple who’s been married the longest gets a prize). I obliged Eric and we stood on the edge of the floor and swayed together. Slowly, but surely, the DJ had couples sit down. First, those who’d been married a year or less, then two years or less, then three years or less, etc.. I impatiently (and awkwardly) swayed back and forth with Eric until the DJ finally let us sit down. ~smile~
But, Would I Do it Again?
I did it. I danced. I was “forced” to. But, later in the evening as I could tell Eric really wanted to dance some more, I made myself dance through part of another song. It may sound pathetic, but let me tell you, it was a huge step (and Eric may or may not have been giddy with my progress ~smile~).
Ready. Set. Jump!!!
I’m not sure jumping off a hundred story building would have been any scarier for me than dancing in front of my church family, but praise God I was able to take a step towards kicking that fear in the face.
Think about the fears you and your sweetie have and see about facing them one at a time. If you fear something your sweetie doesn’t, he or she can still help you conquer it and vice versa. If you and your sweetheart decide to get married, take your quality date, fear-facing mentality into marriage with you. Keep pushing limits together and taking risks. It will keep you young and out of the all too common marriage boredom rut. ~smile~
What terrifying experience can you have the will make you stronger? ~smile~