Do you enjoy hearing a good love story? Couples get together under so many different circumstances, so I find it interesting to hear how couples met, how they connected, and how he proposed. Isn’t it neat that everyone’s story is just a little bit different than everyone else’s in the world?
A friend of mine met her husband while working at a university. From what I can gather, he was interested, but she was not. After some time had passed and they became friends, she was in a car accident which could have been fatal. He rushed to her side without a second thought – and I think from that day forward, she could see what a great guy she had on her hands. ~smile~ Though I’m sure she would never want to go through another horrific car wreck, I know she is thankful for what came out of her crisis. She received the opportunity to see her friend’s deep character, grew to love him, and now they have a home and two sweet babies. People can certainly connect in times of crisis!
Keeping a Level Head
When I am beside myself with stress, anxiety, or grief, I am so thankful for Eric’s level head. If your sweetie is going through the death of a loved one, uncertainty about his or her health, or something like a home robbery, one of the best ways you can serve him or her is by being there as a steady rock. You don’t have to have all the right words to be a comfort. Your arms and your presence are comforting. You may not get a lot of positive feedback about your help, but be assured that you are helping. ~smile~
When we are in the middle of a cyclone, it is hard to stop, think rationally, and organize a plan of action. We need others who are not spinning out of control to take the reins.
“Okay, they admitted your dad to the hospital an hour ago. It is a three hour drive to get to him, so if we leave in 30 minutes we can make it there before 9pm. Throw some clothes into a bag. I’ll gas the car up, pack the car, and we can go. We can hit a drive thru on the way up, and I’ll drive so you can be on the phone with your mom as much as you need to be. I’ll call my boss and yours while I’m getting gas. It is going to be okay.”
This kind of support does not look like deep connecting at the time of crisis. However, it is the kind of connecting you look back on and appreciate after the fact. ~smile~
Providing Support
Support looks different to some than to others. I would want Eric to hold me, rub my hair, tell me it’s going to be okay, and be like an ancient tree if I was going through a crisis. Be stronger than me, please! Be strong, but so gentle. If he was going through a crisis, I think he would want me there, but I doubt he would need me whispering in his ear. He would probably appreciate some physical touch, but not verbal encouragement.
Back when I was working outside the home, a friend at work gave me some news that struck me hard. Eric was supposed to work late that night, so I called him and told him the news. After I called him, I talked to my dad and found out that our family cat had been hit by a car. So, the sobbing started again. A few minutes later, I heard the rumble of an engine down below. Eric was home! He stopped working and came home to be a comfort to me. That was a powerful gesture. His work didn’t go away just because I was hurting, so he sacrificed getting it done that night to come home and comfort me. My heart has healed from that awful day, but I still remember how loved I felt when Eric rushed to my side just to support me.
Proving Your Commitment
Providing your sweetie with your level head and your support has a way of proving your commitment. It are moments like these when a relationship is tested.
“What do you mean you want me to go home with you this weekend? We can wait here to hear how your mom’s surgery went. Then we’ll go up if we need to!”
A response like this sounds selfish and unloving to me. It would need to be an emergency to *keep* me here to prevent me from getting to my mom in that scenario.
“I know you have been stressed about your mom’s upcoming surgery. Let me try to get off work tomorrow so we can go up there together. If I can’t, I still want you to go and you make sure to call me any time there’s an update. Hopefully, I can meet you there after I get off of work tomorrow.”
Even though he is not promising to go, he is trying to work out a plan and show his commitment to her and her family. These Reactions Come Back
When the time comes to decide if your sweetie is the forever one for you, these moments often resurface.
She came to the hospital when I was in my car accident, but she left after an hour and only came back when I called and asked her to. I’m not sure she would take care of me if I were ever sick. I’m seeing a red flag here.
When I called him and told him my house had been broken into, he immediately came over. He checked the house while I waited outside. He stayed with me while the police looked through each room and then he set me up to stay with his aunt since I was too afraid to be alone that night. He got some of his police friends to patrol my neighborhood more often after that and he helped me find an alarm system I could afford. He even paid to have it installed. He is a quality guy and he obviously cares about me.
Times of Crisis
Times of crisis are when the rubber meets the road. You’ve been saying you love me. Now you have a chance to prove it. When you step up to the plate and provide your sweetie with sacrificial support, you prove your love and, in many cases, strengthen your connection. When you don’t, you can expect your relationship to remain status quo at best (but likely not), and your connection to weaken.
Times of crisis are excruciating, but a stronger bond between you and your sweetheart may just be the silver lining to your storm clouds.
Can you remember a time someone connected with you deeply during a crisis? How did his or her support at that time affect your relationship?