From upstairs, I heard the happy swish of our elliptical trainer pedals. Eric was exercising! Hearing him run made me happy, so I ran down the stairs and jumped into cheer-leading mode. “Go, Eric, go! Go, Eric, go!” In an instant, he whipped his face around and offered me an extremely disapproving look and a stern, “No.” This later sparked a discussion on the type of encouragement he needs and desires. Due to my exuberant mistake, I learned Eric does not need cheer-leading; and, not only that, but he finds enthusiastic cheering demotivating. On that memorable evening, I discovered a quick, … [Read more...]

“Take your moods to God and your anger to your husband.” The classroom was full of blank and confused faces as we looked intently at our Marriage and Family Psychology professor who just uttered those words. Take our moods to God and our anger to our husbands? What is this man trying to teach us? In the Fall of 2002, I was still quite young, moderately naïve, and exceedingly unmarried. So, the thought of taking my anger to my husband did not hit me the same way then as it does now. Ten years later... ...sharing this message with our clients, Eric and I received some fully expected … [Read more...]

“So, what do you have to say?” A frustrated and tired Eric asked me as I returned to our bedroom. Prior to me stepping out to the bathroom, Eric and I experienced an unpleasant verbal exchange. Without saying a word, I slipped out of bed and found two minutes of solace elsewhere. When he asked me to respond, I sat there silently, trying to find the words. Finally, the only phrase I could think to utter was, “I don’t know what to say.” At the time, my lack of response was annoying to Eric, but it was 11:30 pm, and the next day he and I were both glad we did not perpetuate the conversation. … [Read more...]

“No.” Eric and I sat quietly at Texas Roadhouse and stared at each other. Though the preceding conversation had been anything but fun, I hated the brutal silence more than the unpleasant chatter. As I sat looking in my husband’s eyes, I felt a sense of fear, dread, and failure. On our wedding day, I stood before God and promised to respect and submit to this man; yet, here I was, looking him in the eye and blatantly refusing his seemingly simple request. “Will you keep track of how you spend your time during the day?” “No.” Part of me could not believe I was refusing him, but a bigger … [Read more...]