How often do you and your sweetie laugh together? When you do, do you eek out polite, half-hearted chuckles, or do you completely lose control and roll in the aisles until you look like complete nuts? One way to tell if you are comfortable with someone is to notice how you laugh in front of him or her. If you laugh but hold back, are you all that comfortable? I assure you, if you ever tell me a joke and I lose it – really lose it – and double over laughing with tears coming out of my eyes, I am comfortable with you. ~smile~ Laughter is a natural tonic for relationships. It adds grease to … [Read more...]
Taking Steps Toward Managing Healthy Expectations
“Wait, why aren't you outside mowing the grass?” “Well, why aren’t you in the kitchen washing the dishes?” “Um, thanks for the anniversary gift, but where’s the rest of it?” “It’s Sunday. Where are the bacon and eggs?” We all enter relationships (and marriage) with expectations. Many of our expectations are buried so far back in our minds that we don’t even think about them until circumstances cause them to pop up! “What do you mean you’re not going to the wedding with me? I can’t go alone!” “My mom went to dozens of weddings alone. It won’t hurt you!” Assumed Expectation: My … [Read more...]
Why I Can’t Stand the Song, “From This Moment On”
Please don’t get me wrong. I have nothing in the world against Shania Twain. As far as I’m concerned, she is incredibly talented and I like a lot of her music. However, one of her most popular songs, “From This Moment On,” has always rubbed me the wrong way. Perhaps it is because it came out around the time I was really starting to re-think the purpose of romantic relationships. I was asked to sing this song in a couple of weddings. It sounds so good... so ideal... but this song and songs like it set us up. We listen to this kind of “romantic love makes everything perfect” music and then we … [Read more...]
Do You Conform to the Stereotype?
Men and women are flooded with stereotypes. Have you heard any of these? * All men are insensitive. * All women are emotional. * All men think about sex twenty-four hours a day. * All women are superficial and bad with money. * All men like sports. * All women talk incessantly. Stereotypes are formed when a majority of people fit into a mold – at least, from the observer's perspective. With our limited experience, we may think that all people from a particular country drink alcohol incessantly. Or, we may think all people from another country are deeply religious. It is not that … [Read more...]
When and Where will We Travel?
Does it seem like there are thousands of questions you need to ask your beloved before deciding to get married? When you are in love and the world stretches out before you like a parade of endless possibilities, it can seem annoying and unnecessary to interrupt the romantic dance to ask some unromantic questions. Believe me, I can remember being crazy in love to the point that even Eric’s (now) aggravating traits seemed adorable and alluring. Here is my humble advice: enjoy the romantic dance, but sit out a few songs to talk over important subjects before taking the plunge. There is nothing … [Read more...]
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