Night before last, I was up until 4:30am finishing Francine River’s book, Redeeming Love. A friend of mine was concerned that I was using television to get settled into bed at night, so she suggested that I start reading instead. Since reading has never been on my top ten list of fun activities to do on a rainy day, I was skeptical... but then she introduced me to Francine Rivers. First, she loaned me The Scarlet Thread and suggested that I would be hooked after just a few chapters. She was right. So after getting a taste of good novels, I borrowed Redeeming Love from another friend’s … [Read more...]
Six Strategies for an Effective Confrontation (Book Review, Confronting Without Offending, Part 3)
Confronting is not my favorite pastime. In fact, I am notorious for complaining about situations to the wrong people. As a child, instead of confronting my friends, I would complain to my mother about them. One day, she jolted me back into reality when she said, "Heather, do you like any of your friends?" Of course I liked them... I loved them! Unfortunately, my fear of conflict and my accommodator and abdicator tendencies prevented me from addressing the right people. Have you ever practiced confrontation (or perhaps telling someone off) in the bathroom mirror only to lose your nerve and … [Read more...]
What’s Your Conflict Management Style? (Book Review, Confronting Without Offending, Part 2)
We all have different ways of dealing with conflict. Some of us like to attack it head on (possibly even enjoying it a little). Some of us do whatever it takes to keep the offending party happy, possibly even giving into the myth that ignoring problems is good and noble. Some of us just run away. When the going gets tough, these folks get going... in the opposite direction. And then, there are some of us who choose to work together to find a happy solution for all. Deborah Smith Pegues dedicates a chapter in her book, Confronting Without Offending, to each of these conflict management … [Read more...]
To Confront or Not to Confront… That is the Question (Book Review, Confronting Without Offending, Part 1)
Who does not love a good fight? The tears, the hurt feelings, the raised voices – is it not just great? (Yes, that was sarcasm.) Most of us either hate fighting or fear it. We want to calmly work through problems and enjoy mutual understanding and respect, but we avoid confronting each other for fear that it will turn into a fight. If there is one sin with which most of us contend, it is pride. When our faults are exposed, we tend to lash out in defensiveness which brings the communication process to a screeching halt. What I adore about Deborah Smith Pegues’ book, Confronting Without … [Read more...]
Women Need Other Women, Men Just Need Their Wives (Book Review, Dated Jekyll, Married Hyde, Part 3)
“Women need other women, men just need their wives.” What do you think of that statement? Does it seem to apply to the women you know? What about the men you know? Like all generalizations, this statement does not apply to everyone; however, it does apply to more couples than not. Women need to bond with other women. Laura Walker Jensen – in her book, Dated Jekyll, Married Hyde – writes, “Women need other women. Otherwise our poor husbands would bear the brunt of our shifting moods and emotions all the time.” Men, however, don’t have that deep need to bond with other men. They may joke … [Read more...]
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