There is a mental battle during the dating stage which I know all too well: “Do I stay in this relationship or should we break up?” It can feel like torment, especially when everyone has an opinion. The swirling thoughts and questions are overwhelming and, if you are anything like me, the desire to run away is strong! There were so many times I just wanted to hide and let the situation pass. Sometimes, I would ask God to have my boyfriend break up with me because I could not bear broaching the subject. Breaking up is not easy – and it probably should not be. If hurting someone, no matter … [Read more...]

“Thank you for....” Men need to feel respected and they long to be seen as strong and competent by their ladies. So often, we minimize their efforts or treat them as if their hard work is a necessary minimum. It does not take much effort to let your man know how much his toil blesses you. Sometimes we think reminding or nagging our guys will inspire them to accomplish more – not so – it does exactly the opposite. Constant memos, reminders, and prodding weighs them down emotionally, de-motivates them, and often makes them angry, even if they do not show it.  A simple, genuine, and specific … [Read more...]

It feels just last week that Eric and I were celebrating our tenth anniversary. Even with all the craziness we had to endure, this past year went by in a flash. We place so much emphasis on those anniversaries that end in 5’s or 0’s, but I think each anniversary is a special opportunity to reflect on the past and dream about the future. What have we learned? What will we do differently? Where do we want to go from here? In honor of our eleven years together, I thought of eleven reasons I still respect Eric after all this time. My prayer is that if we live to see our fiftieth anniversary, … [Read more...]

Do you ever catch yourself apologizing before you even evaluate the transgression? If so, you have a friend in me. I do it all the time! If someone bumps into me in a store, suddenly I blurt out, “I’m sorry.” As if I am apologizing for being in the way. If I toss something to a friend and she does not catch it, again I say, “Oh, I’m sorry.” Of course, I would acknowledge my lousy throw and not her terrible catching skills. And then, there is my marriage. I have heard this question several times in the past decade, “Heather, are you truly sorry or are you just apologizing to restore … [Read more...]

When we discuss wedding planning with our premarital couples, Eric often stresses, “Let people dote on you! Everyone wants to bless you during your wedding season ­– and especially your wedding day. You will never get special treatment like this again, so enjoy it!” Some days, I remember my wedding season with longing. How cool would it be to open piles of presents all while listening to tons of advice from sweet “old” married ladies? Your wedding season will be a special time and it is okay to soak up the attention and kindnesses! Seven years ago today, two of our close friends took their … [Read more...]