One of my favorite undergraduate professors, Dr. Phillip Captain, said, "Ladies, take your moods to God... and your anger to your husband." Like most people in the class, I wrinkled my brow and looked confused. What does that mean? Eventually, I came to understand that he meant to go to the Lord and pray when you are in a bad mood instead of taking it out on your husband. However, when you are angry with your husband, you should go to him, in love and gentleness, and confront the situation respectfully. This is also true if a husband is angry with his wife. The phrase was directed at women … [Read more...]
Taking Care of Yourself with Your Health in Mind
We are image-sick in this country. Everywhere you go, you see airbrushed and edited images of regular people. It has become much worse over the last fifty years with our digital technology. We can't go to the grocery store without being reminded at least ten times that, physically, we are less than perfect. Our country's kids are idolizing people with "perfect" bodies and at times going to drastic measures to "be" like them. Unfortunately American obsession with appearance has taken a bite out of our corporate health. Sure, there are many ways to look good, but most of them are not healthy. … [Read more...]
Beginning with the End in Mind
Recently, I attended the funeral of a fifty-eight year old man. He was survived by his wife, two kids, six grandkids and dozens of other family members. While I did not know the man very well, I knew his wife. As the service began, I watched the face of his wife. There was a mixture of joy and sorrow. He was a man of God and the family is confident that he is with the Lord now. My gaze moved to his son, a young army chaplain, and then to his daughter, a young mother of three. My heart broke for them. His death was sudden, completely unexpected, and he will be sorely missed. The service … [Read more...]
Life Goals: Are we heading in the same direction?
As we grow, we all go through phrases where romantic relationships mean different things. As children of ages nine, ten and eleven we may have giggled and passed notes with "yes" or "no" checkboxes. Sometimes kids can have a whole "dating" relationship with someone and barely speak to them the whole time. When we get into our teenage years, we become increasingly aware of appearance. How many high schools pair the star quarterback and the head cheerleader? Is that not the natural order of things? We enter college and then we find we have this wonderful feeling when we are around our special … [Read more...]
Family Roles and Interaction (a.k.a., You Are Your Parents)
Who did the dishes in your house growing up? Who mowed the lawn? Who got up at night with you when you were sick? When you think of your mom, do you see a pant suit, a briefcase, a dress or an apron? When you think of your Dad do you think of a suit, a ball cap, a uniform, or a tool belt? Whether we like it or not, we are shaped by our childhoods. The way we are raised seems "normal" to us until we reach a certain age. In the movie The Truman Show, the creator and director of the show, Christof, was asked "How do you keep him from figuring out that it is a show?" Christof responded, "We … [Read more...]