There they were on a warm and lovely Saturday afternoon. She in her beautiful, white gown. He in his tux. They swayed on the dance floor to the Eagles' Love Will Keep Us Alive. As an older teenager, I longed to have what I was witnessing. A husband and the promise of a forever love. It was literally my biggest desire in the whole wide world, dominating my thoughts constantly. Yet, even in my naive mind, the lyrics to the song did not ring true. Somehow, I knew love (i.e., loving feelings) was not enough to keep a couple together. Such “love” is fickle – a lesson I had learned multiple times in … [Read more...]

She had the cutest grin. Though ten years older than my mother, she was as adorable as any child. My mentor and spiritual mother, “Miss” Betty, had one of my favorite marriages. In fact, watching her interact with her husband, Mr. Dave, had a lot to do with my decision to go into relationship counseling. I wanted that kind of a marriage and I wanted to help others have it too. (Back to her grin…) As her neighbor, I was blessed with the opportunity to visit her often. She listened to everything which mattered to me. She walked with me through every boyfriend struggle. She talked to me about … [Read more...]

Earlier this evening, Eric and I attended a bonfire event for our church and it was a fabulous night for it. The air was crisp, but not windy. The stars were out. It was a beautiful Fall evening and a harvest moon was the only missing element. On the way to the event, I mentioned how much I would enjoy living out in the country away from everything. I admired the trees and the changing leaves and dreamed about getting lost in my own little corner of the world. Eric’s thoughts were… slightly different. ~smile~ “I get plenty of solitude in my house.” Not surprisingly, Eric, who spends as … [Read more...]

“From what I hear, the local witches go to the stores and put spells on the costumes before Halloween.” I vividly remember hearing this quote from a friend in Sunday School when I was about eleven years old. Just starting out in the world, and unsure of what I believed about most hot topics, I went on assuming what my family did was the correct way to live – which involved a non-scary costume and a bucket for the free candy. Let’s face it, the free candy was all that mattered to me about Halloween. If I could’ve trick-or-treated without a costume, I probably would have been just as happy – if … [Read more...]

“I need you to know that I am feeling angry towards you. I am working hard and you are watching TV.” My newlywed groom walked into our TV room, said his piece, and then walked out again just as quickly. For the first four years of our marriage, we were in the same graduate counseling program and our work ethics were very different. For a few moments, I sat there and contemplated how to respond. Should I get up and do something productive because I know he is aggravated with my perceived laziness? Or, should I sit right here and show him that I cannot be manipulated into working? Though I … [Read more...]