Single Person: “Hey, married person (who should be wiser than me in this area), how do you know when you have met the right person to marry?”
Married Person: <shrugs> “You’ll just know.”
That may be true for some people, but it is a thoroughly unhelpful answer for most of us. Even as a young teenager, I wondered how two people knew they were right for each other; and, how was I going to be sure when the time came for me to decide?
Now I wonder how many people who “just knew” are now divorced.
It is important to feel peaceful and at home with someone before getting married; however, it is also important to evaluate your potential mate from a myriad of angles.
Does that sound romantic? Maybe not. Movies make romance appear to be the foundation of a happy marriage; however, in truth, romance is the result of a healthy marriage. Healthy marriages do not come by accident and emotionally healthy people do not marry in haste.
My You’ll Just Know Experience!
Eric and I were friends for a while before our relationship blossomed and I am incredibly thankful for that stress-free, getting-to-know-you season. It gave us the chance to see each other in different situations with no rose-colored blinders. If he got angry and acted childish, so what? I was just a friend; he was not trying to impress me. If I flew off the handle and yelled at the TV during Superbowl XXXVIII (perhaps a fictional example ~smile~), what did it matter? He was just a friend. I was not trying to impress him – much. ~wink~
By the time we moved from “just friends” to “Wow, I think I love you!,” we already knew a lot about each other. We saw each other in truth – the good, the bad, and the immensely annoying. We were not blind to one another’s characters and we could give solid reasons as to why we wanted to marry each other. In a sense, I just knew, but it was more than that.
I just knew I thought he would make a great dad.
I just knew he was a hard worker and would be successful in life.
I just knew he was strong and would take care of me.
I just knew I valued his Biblical knowledge and desire to be a godly husband and father.
I just knew when I was with him, I felt like I belonged by his side.
What I just knew came in large part from what I had observed. That is why we encourage you all to observe, observe, observe!!! None of us is or deserves perfection; but, kindness, gentleness, maturity, and loyalty are realistic character traits worth finding. When red flags pop up, do not ignore them. Think about them. Search Scripture and see what God has to say about your concern. Talk to people you admire and trust. And, if a leading in your heart keeps saying, “No,” trust it.
If you “just know” this person is the one for you to marry, but you cannot provide confident, solid reasons why you just know, you definitely do not just know quite yet. ~smile~ (And even if you can provide confident, solid reasons, it is healthy to keep observing and evaluating!)
We Want to Bless You!
To help our readers with this all too important question, we developed a free course called Beyond “You’ll Just Know”: Seven Indicators You May Have Found the One and we currently offer it to our readers. Simply go to our homepage and sign up (up there on the right or on the bottom of this post)!
Since developing the original series, we have expanded our course from seven parts to fifteen and the complete course is available for purchase in our store: Beyond “You’ll Just Know” Complete: Fifteen Indicators You May Have Found the One.
Some who have taken the free course asked if there was a way to get it consolidated in one single collection (instead of each lesson e-mailed a few days apart). At the time, our complete course had not been… well, completed. But, now it has and the answer is that it is available as a convenient .pdf to go through!
As a blessing to our readers, if you sign up for the free portion of our course in the next week (from January 29 through February 5) as well as read each lesson as they come out, we will enter you to win your own copy of Beyond “You’ll Just Know” Complete! One winner will be drawn for every 10 eligible entries – so, get your friends to sign up and read the lessons to increase your chances! You are important and appreciated and we believe this resource will be a blessing to your life if you apply what you learn to your spousal search! For current newsletter readers, reply from the next newsletter e-mail back to us asking for an entry and you’ll be entered to win!
How would you like to win a copy of Beyond “You’ll Just Know” Complete? Start by signing up for the free course and newsletter today![Edit: The above contest was for January 2016 and is now completed. Stay tuned for further opportunities!]