My best friend and her mom used to get so frustrated with me and my open-book, share everything, “policy.” With each person I dated, (or even those I only talked to briefly), I overshared about my life. I did not possess nuclear codes or Julia Child’s secret recipes (and still don’t), but the contents of my heart were more valuable than I believed at the time, and I tossed them carelessly at many handsome faces. We are not always careful to keep boundaries around our hearts, our story, and our personal information when getting to know a new and exciting person. Late night phone calls … [Read more...]
Praying for Your Future Marriage
Recently, a client requested a list of Scriptures which could help guide her and her boyfriend in their future marriage. Immediately, familiar marriage passages such as Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, and 1 Peter 3 came to mind. But, there are also many verses not seemingly pertaining to marriage which still pertain to marriage. About ten years ago, I heard a sweet lady in our Sunday School class say, “Don’t study marriage to have a good marriage. Study Christ.” I recall that advice today. It is good to prepare for marriage, to learn communication skills, and discuss finances. However, no … [Read more...]
Consider Your Deal Breakers Before You Date
When we are head-over-heels “in love,” our common sense seems to hibernate for a while. Have you ever felt so exhilarated with your new relationship that you glossed over issues which would normally concern you? It is important to take the time to consider not only what you are looking for in a future spouse, but with which issues you do not want to yoke yourself. Okay, so he spends money a little frivolously, but I love his free spirit! She is reluctant to talk about her faith, but I feel certain she loves Jesus, and we will be fine. The time for deciding what you can and cannot … [Read more...]
What Lucky Couples Have in Common
“Everybody in the family got a good wife. Arthur got a good wife. Frank got a good wife. David got a good wife. Jacky (my dad), even you got a good wife! What did I get??? Nothing!” With no thought to my young ears only inches away, my great uncle fussed about his marriages (complete with colorful language), and the delivery of his recollections absolutely cracked me up. As an adult, I still chuckle when I think about his love life tirade, but it also reminds me of the phrase, “good relationships are not found, they are built.” Couples who have weathered fifty years of good days, sad days, … [Read more...]
Your Relationship Needs a Community
Do you like to be surrounded by people and activity, or do you prefer a quiet house or a deserted trail? For as long as I can remember, I have treasured my alone time. I used to thoroughly enjoy the Wednesday nights when Eric would go to a game night and leave me alone in our home for the evening (that comment is not at all about him, only about me). Even if I changed nothing about my routine, something about knowing I was completely alone felt rejuvenating, as if I was a cell phone which was charging. (And I was always excited for him to come home. ~smile~) In fact, I adore my alone time … [Read more...]
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