So let me bum you out really quickly today... your spouse will never be able to make you happy. For some, this reality is more than they can comprehend. We are programmed in this culture to wait for someone to come into our lives to offer us endless happiness. Here's a sobering thought: God, the uncreated One, the maker of Heaven and Earth, who sent His only Son to die on a cross so that we could have eternal life... God Himself has not even promised to make us endlessly happy. "What?!?! How can you say that? God significantly cares about our endless happiness!" No, God cares about our … [Read more...]
A Lesson from Winnie the Pooh: Argue in Private
You’ve likely experienced it… the awkward feeling of being present for an argument between a dating, engaged, or married couple. Perhaps you are out to dinner with another couple when they turn on each other and start insulting everything from her cooking to his mama's wig. Other than perhaps mentally giggling a bit from watching such a circus, we naturally begin to lose a little respect for them as a couple. And at a later date, when your relationship is going through a rough patch, you may not end up calling the couple that lost it with each other for advice. I was taught as a child that one … [Read more...]
Unconditional Respect, Part 2
In this post, I will talk as if the reader is married. If you are not married, make sure to apply these concepts of your future husband. After talking about what unconditional respect is in our previous post, let’s talk about what respecting our (current or future) husbands is not: Respecting our husbands is not taking abuse. If your husband is physically or emotionally abusing you, it is time to seek outside help. When abuse is present, it is not a matter of disrespect to seek shelter and protection elsewhere and also require counseling before moving back in. Discuss the situation with your … [Read more...]
Unconditional Respect, Part 1
Thanks to Dr. Eggerichs’ phenomenal book, Love and Respect, we in the church community are increasingly hearing about the necessity for men to be given unconditional respect (this is no April Fool’s joke!). For decades, the unconditional love movement has been going strong. Men everywhere are told to love their wives unconditionally and to treat them like crystal because they are the beautiful, delicate vessel. Men needing to display unconditional love is also well and good, but it is not the full picture – the church has missed the mark considerably on what men need in the home. In our … [Read more...]
Your Apology Language
Okay, I admit it: when I was in elementary school, I loved the show Happy Days. Even then, the show was playing as reruns, but I would beg Mom to get us home from school in time to see it. On a slightly more embarrassing note, I'd tape the shows, watch them over and over again, and then torture poor adults by attempting to recite the entire show to them while they were driving me somewhere. Arthur Fonzarelli, "The Fonz," one of the most memorable characters on the show, was so cool that no woman could resist him, no problem could not be solved by him, and no jukebox dared to refuse to play a … [Read more...]
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